Beyond BBQ (46th and Dodge)

Let me be straight with you, I really don't consider myself an expert on any of this, as I hope you would understand from reading my musings. I just like food. I don't consider myself a "foodie" or "gastronome". There's just something about those labels that oozes "pretentious".

I do consider myself "hungry" from time to time.

So, it was a Tuesday. And I felt like getting some barbecue.

Omaha has quite a few good barbecue places... at least in my opinion. Jim's Rib Haven, the recently closed Amarillo, Bill's Barbecue and Hartland are a few that I like. A new place opened not too far from home called Beyond BBQ.

Some friends informed me of a peculiar quality of Beyond BBQ: besides the expected ribs, brisket and pulled pork options, BBBQ has ASIAN FOOD. (Here is where I would like to insert the sound of needle scraping across a record - like this - it's late and I decided I'm too lazy to download and embed the sound, so just click on the link) And not just any Asian food, possibly Filipino food. This piqued my interest. I love BBQ and I drive by this place everyday, but now I MUST try it.

My primary mission was to ascertain whether or not this Asian food was, indeed, Filipino food.
Here's an excerpt of a twitter conversation between a friend and I as she found out I was at BBBQ. Great minds think alike. (you can follow me @Midtown_Brown if you're feeling saucy):

Me: Checking out Beyond BBQ in midtown.

Friend: @Midtown_Brown You *have* to try the egg rolls there. Yum!

Me: I did! FYI they are Filipino lumpia! Score.

Friend: @Midtown_Brown Oh, and you *must* try the pork kabobs sometime. OMG. Delish.

Me: I did that too! Fantastic!

Again, I was "hungry". Not only did I try Asian Platter #3 for pork kabobs, as suggested by my friends, I ordered egg rolls (or what we call "lumpia" in the Philippines), some wings AND a half rack of ribs.

Remember - "hungry".

And no, I did not finish everything. Just had to try it all.

The rib order was the logical progression of me seeing the BBQ sauce offerings at this place. Lots of vinegar based sauces and even a mustard based sauce. Nice! Most places around here serve up a KC style, thick, gloppy sauce that, to tell you the truth, gets old after a while.

Logic:
- I see sauce.
- I want to try sauce.
- In order to try sauce I must have meat.
- Order meat.
- Therefore I can try sauce.

See Homer, I still remember stuff from our philosophy class! Now, if i could make a barbecue sauce diorama... (sorry, OLD inside joke).

Bottom line: the Asian food is Filipino... maybe it's better to say Filipino-ish. The lumpia and pork kabobs are really good, but only represent a tiny portion of the Filipino food spectrum. Check out the Philippines episode of No Reservations for a good run down. Now if only this place started serving lechon...

The ribs were pretty good. Not the best I've had, but there's potential. Better than average for sure. It's a new place, so I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. The sauce selection was a nice surprise, and the sauce quality was really good. Very refreshing to have some vinegar and mustard based choices.

The place is run by a husband and wife team, and they are very nice. The husband is a jovial fellow, and I get the feeling he really wants to make good barbecue. The wife is from my parents' home town back in the Philippines and she treated me just like a family member, complete with the encouragement to eat more and constant prodding to become a doctor or engineer...

So, give the place a shot if you have the opportunity. Pricing is good and what you would expect for a BBQ joint. The Filipino-ish stuff can be had at around $6 bucks a platter. Not bad. Let us know what you think. Leave a comment or email us some suggestions of places too.

Check back for more. There might even be more tonight, stupid insomnia.

Later gators.

- J

The end of another hiatus?

Hey pals,

So it seems BOTT may be fast approaching the end of yet another hiatus. If you have forgotten, we started this adventure back in November 2007. We then took year long breaks between December 2007 and December 2008, and yet again between February 2009 and February 2010. We've been on this current break for almost a year.

I am happy to report that Homero and I are all grown up now. H is a lawyer and I'm, hmmm... I dunno how to describe my job... I am no longer in grad school. Whoo! To tell you the truth, I am still figuring out how to do this "free time" thing again. I'm working on a list of activities to occupy my time.

Right now I am in my hotel room in Des Moines, IA. I've got a meeting to attend here in the AM, and while I'd rather be driving to Illinois right now to hunt down some Blatz Beer, I am instead taking a minute to report on a minor food adventure. I'm in a different town for a few, so why not?

After sifting through some helpful suggestions from some friends, I decided on Vietnamese food. It's freaking cold and all I could think of was getting some delicious, steaming hot pho (pronounced 'fuh'). For those unfamiliar, pho is (in my opinion) the all-time greatest of the noodle soup species. You can read more about pho here. For me, the broth has no taste equal. I really don't even have a clue as to how to describe it. It's just so good. I asked a Des Moines resident, and fellow Filipino, about some Vietnamese places to hit up. I went to a place called 'A Dong'.

Yeah, yeah... If Homer we're here, right now you would be reading the obligatory Brown on the Towne dick joke.

Their pho was good, but I've had better. Still very satisfying. I give them props for providing some very fresh thai basil, cilantro and bean sprouts to get thrown into the soup. I was more impressed by their ca phe sua da, otherwise known as Vietnamese iced coffee. I love this stuff. It's like the most pleasant feeling kick to face, if there ever was one. Take STRONG espresso, condensed milk and chicory, then throw it over ice.

If you're back in Omaha, grab a bowl of pho and ca phe sua da at the Vietnamese Asian restaurant on 72nd and Jones. You will not be disappointed.

I've stopped by some other places back in Omaha as a food blog warm up. Check back here for some quick thoughts on Beyond BBQ and Maru Korean Grill. Both good. Even better with good company. I have a feeling more posts will be headed your way as well.

Stay warm out there.

-j

Hey! Check this out!

This is from last summer, but you should check it out anyway. Learn about our pal Peter and his phenomenal wood work at Measure Cut Cut Studio. Make sure to watch the video as well and look out for a plug for your two favorite food bloggers! Here!

-J

Juba Restaurant

Juba Restaurant
1102 Northwest Radial Highway
Omaha, NE 68134
(402) 553-5686
Authentic Sudanese

>

JORDAN: Welcome back to Brown on the Towne.

HOMER: A blog for people who like to taste the rainbow of brown foods.

JORDAN: Less like a rainbow... more like a chocolate bar. So Homer and I decided to check out a little place on Saddle Creek called Juba Sudanese. I live pretty close to its location and have driven by many times.

HOMER: I think that place used to be called Super Mid K. But now, it has been demoted down to Mid K. And promoted to Juba!

JORDAN: Yes! We'll have to ask about the demotion. Maybe Mid K ate one of those mushrooms from Super Mario Bros and voila! Juba! MMMMM pixelated mushrooms.... drool...

HOMER: In a town (Towne?) full of beige-y eggshell restaurants, Juba is a shining beacon of all things brown.

JORDAN: LIGHT brown.... hahahahahaha.

HOMER: It has been a while since I have been to a restaurant this brown. Lately, I have been consuming sandwiches from this one freaky fast place, or eating fresh from another so-called restaurant. Not very much brown at all.

JORDAN: Romeo's Mexican food and pizza?

HOMER: How dare you.

JORDAN: Sorry, had to go there... I'm trying to connect this episode with our long lost Guacamaya trip. But yes, Juba is a fantastic example of why we endeavor to do what we do with this page.

HOMER: It is also an example of the reward you get for going a little out of your way. Since I moved to East Lincoln, it is sometimes easier to eat a super value meal or cook for myself.

JORDAN: Ah, East Lincoln... Sucks Homer. I live within walking distance of Juba. So if I ever get the hunger for some badass Sudanese food, I can be satisfied. I can satisfy my thirst too with their fantastic tea.

HOMER: Ok, so let's give people an encyclopedia entry on Sudanese food. I walked in this place not knowing what to expect. I know the Sudan is in Africa, but beyond that, I have zero knowledge of its cuisine.

JORDAN: The Sudan is Africa in microcosm: a large country with geographic, extremes ranging from sandy desert to tropical forest. It is culturally a loose association of almost 600 tribes who have Arabic as their common language. The French, the English, and the Italians have all had colonies in the Sudan. The cuisine is a melding of the many varied backgrounds of the peoples who have influenced its history. Favorite meats are lamb and chicken. Rice is the staple starch. Breads are the Arabian Khubz, but the Sudanese also make Kisra, an omelette- like pancake which is part of the Sudanese dinner. Vegetables, fresh and cooked, are of infinite variety. The okra, which incidentally came to the United States from Africa, is an important ingredient in a Bamia- Bamia, an okra lamb stew.

HOMER: And I would say that there is definitely a melding in this place.

JORDAN: True. I have spent time getting to know the owner, Taj and he has explained that the food he serves has been the product of the melding of many influences, but he still points out that, through the combination, something unique and special comes forth. He advertises Juba as the ONLY authentic Sudanese restaurant in town. (Towne?)

HOMER: That's fair. I am not going to argue with him. Mainly because I wouldn't know authentic Sudanese food if my right hand was made out of it. But my right hand is not made of delicious authentic Sudanese food, so you can stop drooling Jordan. And by the way, why are you always looking at me and drooling?

JORDAN: Dude, I'm a zombie. That's why. Mmmmmmmm... Homer.....

HOMER: Anyway, back to the food. At first bite, the food made me think Mediterranean.

JORDAN: True, Sudanese food does share some common dishes/ingredients as everyday Mediterranean, like Tabouleh and Baba Ganoush.

HOMER: On my first visit, I tried something I saw my TV food idol eat in Egypt. Foul. Foul is a daily dish in Egypt, and it is sometimes consumed in the morning, because it "sits like a stone in the stomach." This is man food right here.

JORDAN: What is in foul?

HOMER: Fava beans. Olive oil, onions, tomatoes, garlic and lemon juice. Tasty, but very filling.

JORDAN: Most definitely. A breakfast with that would set you up for some major pyramid building.

HOMER: Or chariot racing.

JORDAN: So, I've been to Juba a few times now, and have sampled some different things from the menu. The first time, I ordered the Sudanese style Tilapia. At that time I was unfamiliar with many of the things on the menu, but I was more interested in trying something that I was familiar with, but prepared in a culturally different way. Growing up I ate Tilapia like most kids ate fruit rollups.

HOMER: You mean you squished it up into a little ball and sucked on it until it was all gone?

JORDAN: Hmmm... no. What else did kids eat a lot of... Elmer’s glue?? Anyway... the tilapia was fantastic, and it was served as the whole fish: head, tails, eyes, bones and all. Just like Grandma used to make.

HOMER: So....Do you eat all of that? The heads and tails...soup to nuts?

JORDAN: Nah... those just comprise the obstacle course the worthy adventurer must traverse in order to enjoy the sweet, sweet victory that is tilapia meat. Advice to future patrons: make sure you know how to eat a whole fish before you try this. Is there a merit badge for fish eating?

HOMER: I don't know, but how should I practice? Should I start with a goldfish and work my way up? Are fish sticks a good starting place for me, the whole fish virgin? Guide me, oh wise one.

JORDAN: Are you asking me to teach you how to pop your fish cherry???

HOMER: Yes. I mean, no. I mean....OK., so on my second visit, I had the Musaheb. But Taj surprised me. My friend ordered the Kefta Kebobs, and instead of two wasteful, separate plates, Taz brought the whole meal out on one gigantic garbage can lid of a plate. With rice and okra. And my friend must have been cute or something cause Taz gave us goat and lamb meat also.

JORDAN: Wow.. lucky bastards! How was all of it?

HOMER: What a guy! It was all fantastic. And because it was family styley, I got to try a lot of different things. I would recommend this way of eating Sudanese food.

JORDAN: Yes, that sounds fantastic.

HOMER: It was fantastic.

JORDAN: As an add-on to my tilapia rant... Taj and I have spent some time chatting whenever I patronize their establishment. He's a cool cat. He opened Juba with the hope of repeating the success experienced by his brother's similar restaurant in NYC. During Super Bowl week he told me that the best food to eat is the tilapia during the game. So, me and some pals did just that. Taz said he sold 115 orders of tilapia for Super Bowl Sunday. Definitely earn your merit badge and eat this!

HOMER: The Brown Scouts! Gives a new meaning to the term "Brownies" eh?

JORDAN: Hey-Oh!!!!

HOMER: As a final note, I would like to place the African Spiced Tea Taj makes into the BOTT Hall of fame. I have never had anything like it. It is like Chai, but sweeter. It is like Kool-Aid but more sophisticated. It is like drinking mother's milk, but less creepy.

JORDAN: Yeah, you should quit doing that.

HOMER: On that note, thanks for reading. Stay tuned for some changes, and the same old humor and taste we always provide.

JORDAN: Yes! Check Juba out and help keep it in business! Food is affordable, tasty, and there are a ton of vegetarian options if that's how you roll. Remember to send us restaurant suggestions or compliments at brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Later gators.

One year to the day...

It has been exactly one year since the last Brown on the Towne episode was posted...

Maybe if you check back soon, you will find some stuff posted about Juba (so goddamn good) or the infamous, missing Guaca Maya episode. Just sayin'.

You can go back to your facebook stalking.

See you soon...???

Twitter!

Hey friends!

Sorry for the extended hiatus!

Until we get rolling again check out our updates on Twitter! Homer and I will be posting about our food adventures in 140 characters or less.

www.twitter.com/brownonthetowne

J

Secret Asian Man II

Happy Día de los Burrachos readers!!!!!!

I figured some of you (Debbie Z.) are anxiously awaiting the posting of our adventures at Guacamaya. Patience friends, your perseverance in the face of growing Brown on the Towne induced anxiety will soon pay off.

So to whet your appetite I am posting some of my latest reconnaissance. Enjoy!

Secret Asian Man II


Grand Fortune (Chinese/Dim Sum)
17330 W Center Rd # 106
(402) 697-9888

Those of you that know me well might ask, "What the hell is Jordan doing going west of 72nd street?!?!?!" That is a valid question. I enjoy most of my existence on the east side of town, but there are some worthy reasons to travel into the treacherous beyond, Grand Fortune's dim sum being one of them. For those of you unfamiliar, dim sum is the name for a Chinese cuisine involving a wide range of light dishes usually served in a small steamer basket or on a small plate. Usually you get a 3 or 4 pieces per plate/steamer basket. The opportunity to sample a great number of different dumplings, buns, pancakes makes this a fun dining experience.

I went there a few weeks back with friends Mary, Hal and Pete. We ordered in three rounds, each time we went for something different. We had steamed pork buns (amazing), shrimp and cilantro dumplings (amazing), leek buns (amazing), sui mai (amazing), turnip pancakes (amazing) and whole bunch of other stuff. All in all an excellent lunch. Between the four of us, around 12 different orders, our bill came to $40. Again, excellent lunch.

Dim sum is usually only served in the mornings and during lunch time, so don't expect to go around dinner and get some tasty treats like those you're staring at... there's drool on your shirt..

Stay tuned for more from this place. Homer and I are big fans.



Mother India (Tandoori)
3572 Leavenworth St.
(402)763-2880

Anyone remember Z's corner store on 36th and Leavenworth?? When I lived down on Leavenworth, Z's was a local destination for all things booze and tobacco. Since then the little cube of a building has been La Tia's Tamales and El Rebaño. A while back I heard rumors of an Indian restaurant opening in that spot. Me = excited. The idea of a small Indian restaurant close to work and home was titillating. Thanks to Ali, Nakiea and Amber for reporting about their experiences there. So I chose to check it out.

I had some vegetable samosas. Excellent! I am kicking myself for not asking if they were homemade. From the taste... light and crispy outer shells, warm and nicely spiced innards...
they gotta be homemade. I just wanted confirmation.

I ordered the Chana Masala. It consisted of chick peas, tomatoes, onion, garlic, spices and maybe ghee and ginger. Oh man, this stuff was great. Chick peas are a personal favorite of mine. You could give me a can of those while you rob me blind and I wouldn't care. The rice was decent, not great, but I would recommend trying this place out. I was super pleased with the Chana Masala.

Prices are very affordable. Most of the main dishes cost between $6 - $10. My total cost plus appetizer was $11. Not bad for tasty Indian!

So that's it for now. Keep sending us suggestions and LEAVE COMMENTS on the blog. Tell us about your experiences of any of the places you try. THIS IS KEY TO OUR STRATEGIC PLAN. So do it. Guacamaya is coming soon.


I will leave you with Rootbeer Floats from the Soda Fountain at the Durham Western Heritage Museum. You may drool now...

San Diego Taco!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Gobackability-- If you go, can we come???
  
• 
  
• Service -- Really, can we come??
• 
  
• Food-- Are you going yet??
  
• 
  
• Browness-- Seriously, if you're not there yet.. you suck.
  

San Diego Taco

10737 Mockingbird Dr., Omaha NE 68127

(402) 339-1410

Pure Goodness

Jordan: Okay, time for the first Secret Asian Man reconnaissance follow up! San Diego Taco!

Homer: It may not be fair to review this place. I had an amazing time, and most of it was not because of the food. I might have a hard time distinguishing the fun from the food.

Jordan: In my experience of this place, the fun is always there, but I can understand where you are coming from El Homer.

Let us introduce a new (soon to be recurring Brown on the Towne character): Naughty Mom!


Homer: Naughty Mom is a good time. Turns out either Naughty Mom has amazing intel, or she really did grow up in the house I am currently renting? How strange is that?

And don't forget Sally H.

Jordan: Of course, Sally! Best neighbor ever!

Homer: So with Neighbor Sally and Naughty Mom, we converged to culinarily conquer San Diego Taco.

Jordan: Let me tell you about the legend of San Diego Taco...

Many moons ago a wise sage (and BotT reader) named Peter C offered San Diego Taco as a suggestion for our food blogging adventures. He said the place was well worth checking out, but that the place wasn't always open. This intrigued me. In the end the limited number of open hours only added the allure of the food. I'm sure you faithful readers have seen the Secret Asian Man post about this place. It's so good I’ve been there 4 times since the start of January. I was afraid I over-hyped it for Homer.

Homer: Turns out, this is one place that lived up to the ridiculous hype. Just like [insert cliché sports personality]. The hype was not the problem for me. You paying attention? I am about to get philosophical on your ass.

Our mission is to seek out and draw attention to the best ethnic eateries in Omaha yes?

Jordan: Yes!

Homer: Well, I don’t know what to do with this place in my own mind! The food is so good.

So good.

The owner does a high end catering business on the side. And you can tell. I have had plenty of fish and shrimp tacos, and none have ever tasted as good as the ones I had here. It is like the owner has adopted the sandiegon....sandiegoan....sandiegun....cuisine and literally made it better.

Jordan: This place deserves the seldom awarded Brown on the Towne distinction of GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Homer: Where do you categorize a place that has changed reflected on a cuisine and made it high end?

Jordan: I am at a loss. It's so good. Let's take our readers through a chronological tour of our San Diego Taco experience.

Homer: I got to this place first. This is because I am a punctual and awesome person. I sat down and the server asked me if I wanted a margarita, and then went on to explain that the margaritas are made with their own homemade triple sec. Turns out, damn near every thing here is homemade. The chips and salsa came out and I ate some. Good, but nothing spectacular. And then, FINALLY Jordan got there.

Jordan: I got there on time, and I had to pick up Naughty Mom on the way.

And, when I got there, the good times started to roll!

As always.

Homer: Let me just say that homemade triple sec is different. In a margarita, it is good but different. Clove-y-er.


Jordan: I was able to sample the margarita. I am not a fan of sweet-type drinks, but I will say that San Diego Taco's margarita was pretty damn enjoyable. On previous visits I have witnessed a party of patron drink the place out of margarita booze so much that a waitress had to go to the store to purchase more. That's how good this shit is.

Now to the homemade sauces! There are three options for your palate. Your first option is a basic, hot, red sauce. Mighty tasty in its own right. Your second option is a smoky chipotle red sauce. This is killer stuff. Not killer like it will come to resurrect a dead body at the bottom of a lake that will proceed to go on a murderous rampage through cabins and New York City... but killer like, "man that is goddamn tasty!" Your third option is.... so good... a green sauce... I need a moment...

Homer: I believe it was described as a tomatillo, spinach, and chile sauce. Tangy, interesting and delicious.

Jordan: Oh my pants!

Homer: Speaking of pants, that is where Naughty Mom spewed smoky chipotle sauce. All over my pants.

Jordan: That's what Naughty Mom is good at. ZING!

Homer: I ordered a medley of tacos. One fish, one shrimp, one carnitas, and one chorizo.


Jordan: I ordered a medley as well. One chorizo, one carne asada, and one shrimp as well as a cup of chile.




Homer: Chile or chili?

Jordan: Whatever it was, it was guuuuud. I have had ample opportunity to sample their menu. I can honestly say that, from what I have had, everything has been damn good. I am torn on my favorite... it's a tie between the shrimp taco and the chorizo.

Homer: Again with you and favorites. I think the whole ranking and "list" system that is so prevalent in today's electronic society really takes away from the value of things. I do not have a favorite here. I do have lots of things that I would recommend to you. The shrimp and the chorizo are two of those.

Jordan: Hey man, you’re entitled to your own opinion. But you readers out there, if you so happen to get me some food from San Diego Taco, get me the shrimp or chorizo!

Homer: It is true. I would eat the chorizo all day long. Another thing that Paul (the chef) makes himself.

Jordan: He sells it by the pound too! Our waitress was awesome. She shared good information about the food, about the restaurant and was brave/cool enough to join into our ongoing conversations.

Homer: Even when it devolved into syphilis.

Confused? Hey, if you come to a BOTT event, you too will know the craziness we engage in.

Jordan: Sally eventually joined us and added to the magical wonder that is Brown on the Towne. She says the veggie tacos are fantastic.

Homer: Sally actually drove us all to drink.

Jordan: Thanks Sally! Throw in some homemade lime ice cream and crispy, chewy cinnamon tortilla strips…


Another successful BotT in the books! Make sure you guys call ahead to make sure they are open!

Homer: Suggestion contest ends at the end of February. And if you care to meet us, we will be at Clancy's on Tuesday, February 10 celebrating the day I came into this world. Oh, and cheese. Definitely celebrating cheese.

Jordan: Okay friends, leave us a comment here on the blog or send us an email at brownonthetowne@gmail.com!!! Adios.

Homer's Odysseys

So Jordan got it going, and now I am going to have my own little shot at going to places solo. However, I am writing today to call all of you out. Yes all of you. I take that back. There are four of you who are being singled out in front of the class today. Little Brown, Peter, Allie and Beth, you may go to recess early. The rest of you....

WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT IN SUGGESTIONS????

It is not hard.

1. Pick a restaurant.

2. Make sure it is in some form or another somehow related to browness.

3. Send us an e-mail and or leave us a comment

And look, you are now entered in the contest to have Jordan and I make you dinner!!!! What could sweeter than that?

Look, I will even post pictures of Jordan and my previous food creations.

Please note: Jordan and I did not actually make any of these things. But I promise, the winner will not be disappointed!!!!!

Malara's Italian Restaurant

• Gobackability-- Prom and maybe Homecoming
  
• 
  
• Service -- Attentive
• 
  
• Food-- Homemade Spaghetti
  
• 
  
• Browness-- Bacon Meatball
  

Malara's Italian Restaurant

2123 Pierce St, Omaha NE 68108

(402) 346-8001

Italian

Jordan: Hey, readers. A new food adventure is on the way. We are looking at some pictures of past meals. Give us a moment to refresh, reflect and finish off a couple drinks...

Homer: If I would have written about every place that I have pictures of, there would be many blog adventures indeed.

Jordan: Indeed. If I would have written about every place I have pictures of, I would probably get arrested.

Homer: I have a question for you readers. Does it bother you that even though you know our biting wit, you do not know our faces?

See? That is what we look like!!!!

Jordan: We're gonna give you a minute to take us in.....

60

59

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51

50

Homer: Had enough?

Jordan: 49

48

47

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36-35=

1

0

DONE!

Homer: I think they have had enough "taking us in" time. Now on to the food!!!!! This week, Malara's Italian Restaurant.

Jordan: Yes. So, reader pals, we originally planned to post a Malara's food adventure episode a year or so ago. Any neighborhood, local restaurant famous for homemade spaghetti, sauces and sausage immediately warranted our attention.

Homer: Having actually visited this establishment twice, I would like to note that this place is consistent. Exactly like I remembered. I like that in a restaurant.

Jordan: Consistency is a good quality to have. It's comforting as well as dependable. Our readers have many experiences with this as we are consistently fucking amazing.

Homer: One of the things I want to do before I die, is go eat super authentic Italian food from a restaurant that is frequented by the mob. Can anyone out there covertly hook me up with this? I mean, unless hooking me up with eating at a restaurant means that I would somehow be indebted to the mob. I am no good at "offing," or "doing," or "icing," or "yodeling." Really I wouldn't be of much use to the mob. Especially if they expect a yodeling show. That being said, I don't think Malara's is in any way connected to the mob. It seems very family friendly.

Jordan: That it does. Malara's has a definite family friendly vibe, old school. When I was younger, Malara's was the goto place for homecoming and prom dates. It has the authentic, local vibe and great dependable food that is impossible to achieve at Applebee's or Chili's. If any of you readers out there took your prom dates to Applebee's, you should own the fact that you are a complete buster.

Homer: I took my prom dates to: Yo-Yos, Brother Sebastian's, and Gorat's. I took my Homecoming dates to Bronco Burger's, Chili's and Great Wall. I kind of spent all my money on Prom.

Jordan: I understand the larger appropriations for prom, but for your homecoming choices... you're almost a buster. Your visionary choice of Bronco Burger's cancels out Chili's.

Homer: Even in my poorest of days, I was still reaching for the stars.

Jordan: Seriously, how can you go wrong with a place where the grease makes the to-go bags translucent?

You can SEE YOUR FOOD!!!!!

Homer: Speaking of grease, let’s talk about the cheesesticks.

Jordan: Yes, cheesesticks. I'm sure all of you have indulged in cheesesticks before. I'm sure all of you think you have had "good" cheesesticks before. I'm sure all of you have had to deal with some sort of intestinal blockage due to "good" cheesesticks before. Let me tell you one thing... the cheesesticks at Malara's are, perhaps, the greatest cheesesticks to have ever blocked any intestine this side of the Mississippi.

Homer: I once watched Sandra Lee on "Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee" "teach" me how to make a cheesestick. She told me to go buy some string cheese, bread it, and then fry it. Ladies and gentlemen, THESE ARE NOT THOSE CHEESESTICKS!

Someday, when Brown on the Towne had its own website, there will be a page called "Brown on the Towne Hall of Fame." The first honoree will be these cheesesticks.

Jordan: These things have the perfect, semi-crispy, lightly seasoned, golden skinned crust surrounding the most amazing, melted, gooey... I need a minute......

60

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......

Homer: You couldn't tell where the crust began and where the cheese ended. It was truly monumental.

Jordan: 11

10

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2

1

Yes.

Homer: The salad that came out at the same time was nothing special. Iceberg. Some slivers of carrots. Something a rabbit would adore.

Jordan: Iceberg=crap.

Homer: I am not sure how you would make a salad something special though.

Jordan: I demand more from my salad. Give me some fresh leafy greens. I want kale. I want frisee. I want butter lettuce. I want cheesesticks in my salad!

Homer: Ok I take that back. Remember back to Sakura Bana? That was a special salad.

Jordan: Indeed. Their salad is wonderful. But it still would be better with cheesesticks. If you go to Malara's, get the damn cheesesticks. If you don't I will personally punch you in the kidney.

Homer: And Jordan is a scary guy. The only reason I do this website with him is because he says if I don't, he will lop off my nuts. Take him seriously.

Jordan: Then I'd make you sit in a pool of gin.

Homer: I am scared. Let’s talk about the main courses.

Jordan: Yes, let's.

Homer: MMMMMM.....gin.......I mean…… I had spaghetti with brascioli. 2 things: First, spaghetti at Malara's is homemade. I am not sure if any of their other pastas are homemade, but this spaghetti is wonderful. There is just something about homemade pasta. The second thing is that a brascioli is a bacon infused meatball. Whoever thought of this one should be given a medal.

Jordan: Or a blowjob. Yeah, I said it. Deal

Homer: Bacon is one of life's ironic pleasures. It tastes so good. But it is a killer. In 2008, over 80,000 people died from bacon related deaths. The sauce on my pasta was good, but it kind of reminded me of spaghetti-os. Either Chef Boyardee got Italian food right, or Malara's is a bit lacking when it comes to the sauce area.

Jordan: The sauce is rather pedestrian for a homemade marinara. At least in my experience. Maybe we need to recruit an Italian special correspondent for the blog. Italians are kinda brown right?

Homer: Yeah, sure. If they tan, then I guess they are brown. Any tanned beautiful Italian women care to come with us to Italian restaurants?

Jordan: I would like this time to introduce a new Brown on the Towne hallmark...

Let's call it the Homemade Highlight.

Jordan: As mentioned before, Malara's crafts their own spaghetti. Anything homemade and done well is deserving of our verbose, yet sometimes sarcastic, praise.

Homer: Especially assuming that crafting your own spaghetti for anyone who walks in the door could be time consuming.

Jordan: The noodles have a subtle flavor. In my pasta experience, flavor is mostly derived from the sauce and seasoning. Malara's spaghetti would be a treat on their own. Maybe with a touch of olive oil. Hey readers, you ever eat plain spaghetti with just butter before?

Homer: On Thursday at Malara's, there is a special called "Mama Malara's Naked Spaghetti." It is the Spaghetti in olive oil, and garlic sprinkled with parmesan cheese. That dish is the reason I fell in love with this place.

Jordan: I was definitely envious that day. But, then again, I had the brascioli that day.

The bacon infused goodness distracted me for sure.

Homer: As it would all but the most taste-bud challenged.

Jordan: On this most recent trip I indulged on the homemade Italian sausage.

I was not impressed at first. My first bites lacked star power, but as I progressed through the link, the fennel power emerged.

Homer: Mmmmmm.....fennel-ly

Jordan: Overall, the sausage is a solid, true presentation of Italian sausages I've had in the past. The brascioli still ranks higher.

Homer: The desserts we tried: Tiramisu, and Chocolate dipped cannoli. New way I have found to communicate: using a colon.

Jordan: Brown on the Towne Ethnic Eating Advice #43: Never eat your cannoli with a fork! No amount of bacon stuffed anything will save you from the shame of being a complete douchebag at the Italian restaurant.¹

Homer: Brown on the Towne Ethnic Eating advice #27: If you have to ask for the secret menu, you are not deserving of the secret menu.

Jordan: Ok folks. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Brown on the Towne. Leave us a comment or suggest some local eateries by emailing us at brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Make sure to participate in our reader polls!

1. Thus sayeth Malara’s staff.

Costa del Sol

• Gobackability-- When you're in a pupusa kind of mood...
  
• 
  
• Service -- Friendly and helpful
• 
  
• Food-- Good, maybe need to explore the menu a little more...
  
• 
  
• Browness-- ¡Kolashampan!
  

Costa del Sol

4454 S 84th St, NE 68127

(402) 551-2176

El Salvadoreño/Mexican

Homer: Hello readers and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Glorious Festivus and so on and so forth!

Jordan: Special thanks go out to the few brave souls out there that sent us some food adventure suggestions. Right now you guys have a 50% chance of winning our current contest. For the rest of you busters... send us some restaurant suggestions. If we pick your suggestion, Homer and I will make you dinner. Homer, did you air any grievances this Festivus?

Homer: Yes I did. It turns out that in my search for food Nirvana, all I had to do was go home. Makes the struggle seem less important. Mom food is so Brown it doesn't have a brown label.

Jordan: Mom food is pretty sweet. So for this episode of Brown on the Towne we hit up Costa del Sol, an El Salvadorian eatery.

Homer: WHOA... we have a problem. Does this blog support the tilde? I only ask because when we talk about El Salvadorian food, the food is called El Salvadoreno. But with a tilde
~~~~~~~~~~N
#%%^&*$&^#$!

Jordan: El Salvadoreño!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Booyah!

Homer: All hail the power of Mac.

Geography quiz: without looking at a map, how many of you know where El Salvador is located? Here's is a hint, it is not in Australia.

Jordan: There it is! Now where in the world is Carmen San Diego???

Homer: I got to this restaurant first, and I had a little hesitation because the menu boasts a lot of Mexican cuisine. But knowing where the country is located, it makes sense that they have Mexican food.

Jordan: True, Brown on the Towne Rule #8 states that if non-native food is present on the menu, without good reason, then exit the establishment with much haste.

Homer: For example. Romeo's Mexican Food and Pizza. If you are ever presented with this opportunity, run. Immediately. They are not kidding when they say, "Nacho typical restaurant."

Anyway, back to Costa del Sol. Which means Costa of the Sol for you non-Spanish speakers.

Jordan: I was excited to check this place out in order to experience an El Salvadoreño specialty: pupusas! I have read favorable reviews and descriptions of pupusas since last year and have been curious to see if they were all they were cracked up to be.

Homer: And what exactly is a pupusa?

Jordan: Pupusas consist of a thick, hand-made corn tortilla that can be stuffed with one or more of the following: cheese, refried beans, squash, loroco (a Central American flower bud), squash or fried pork rinds.

Homer: I had a cheese and loroco pupusa. To be honest, I could not taste the loroco. It honestly felt like I was eating a flower.

Jordan: I had a pupusa with everything. Pretty damn tasty. The pupusa has the potential to be the next great street food. They are pretty easy to make and can be made to order, plus they are cheap. Good news for working class chumps like me. The only danger is if the original intent of the pupusa becomes bastardized by some enterprising business major. Ham and Cheese pupusas? Pepperoni Pizza pupusa?? We cannot allow this to happen.

Homer: Wait, hasn't that already happened? Isn't that just a Hot Pocket?

Jordan: DAMN YOU HOT POCKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I am shaking my fist in disgust...)

Homer: The pupusa is made from the tortilla Salvadoreña, which is the main staple in Salvadorean food. It seems like all cultures have their signature bread, the go to bread everyone uses as a mainstay of the cuisine. In Mexican food, it is the tortilla. In French food, it is the baguette.

Why is it do you think that American (I mean the Americas here) staple breads are quick breads, and European breads are risen breads?

Jordan: That is an interesting question... My initial feeling is that cultures making use of quick breads are less industrialized than the cultures with risen breads.

Homer: Just something to ponder. So what did you have to eat here?

Jordan: I ordered the Bistec Ranchero, basically skirt steak served with tomatoes, onions and peppers. On the side were rice, refried beans and a couple extra Salvadoreño tortillas.

Homer: No man. The modifier goes after the noun.

Jordan: Lo siento. Tortillas Salvadoreñas...

I admit, I was less impressed with my main dish than I was with the pupusas. The rice and beans were tasty, but there was nothing that stood out about the Bistec Ranchero.

Homer: The beans you had seemed different. I didn't try them but they looked like refried black beans. That idea alone is delicious. I had the "Combination."

This was a combination of grilled meats. I had chicken, beef, shrimp, and chorizo. It was good, but I concur with my fellow "taste" bud that there was nothing that made me salivate from 5 miles away.

The rice was interesting, but it did not have the star power I was looking for in a cuisine.

Jordan: You did have a beverage with some star power.

Homer: YES!!!!

Homer: Kolashampan!

An authentic beverage straight from El Salvador. It tasted like Big Red Soda, but with a Latin flair. No clue how to describe the difference. But it was delicious.

In light of the "troubling economic times" we have been hearing about, I think we should create an economic rating system for these restaurants. What say you?

Jordan: I like this idea... How many times could we eat there until we're broke??

Homer: Good. Good. Look for this feature on our short list.

Jordan: Excellent. Overall I liked the pupusas, and may stop in sometime to get some of those babies to go. Pupusas can be vegetarian friendly for you veggie types out there!!
But not much stood out besides that.

Homer: What do you say? Are we done here? Cause I have a hankering for some falafel.

Jordan: Works for me. Catch you later readers. Remember to send some restaurant suggestions to brownonthetowne@gmail.com or leave us a comment after the post. Keep an eye out for more episodes shortly!

Secret Asian Man! San Diego Taco!

Hey all!

So Homer has been out of town and I have been scouting out places for Brown on the Towne to hit up. Thanks to some good pals, I visited San Diego Taco last Friday.

Since Homer was out of town, an authentic Brown on the Towne blog post was impossible, but I wanted to write a quick blurb about the the experience. I figure both Homer and I can contribute these type of short posts on our restaurant reconnaissance. These short entries can help us cover more places, increase the frequency of posting, and above all give you guys more options for your own culinary adventures.

I will refer to my individual adventures as a sort of spin off of Brown on the Towne called...

Secret Asian Man!

Ha.

San Diego Taco is located just east of 108th Street on Mockingbird. The room is comfy. In addition, the place has a hole-in-the-wall vibe. The food is damn tasty.

The food is authentic, southern California style Mexican food.

Prices are affordable. Ten bucks per person provides you with a tasty dinner.

Thanks go out to Niz and Peter for letting me tag along.


The verdict:

I like this place a lot. Expect to see a full Brown on the Towne episode devoted to San Diego Taco. Check it out pals. Call ahead before you go to make sure they are open (402-339-1410). Homer and I wanted to check them out previously, but they were closed. Is that a hassle?? No. Their limited open hours just adds to the allure of their damn tasty food.

That's all for now. Keep checking back. And, of course, we want to hear from you! Leave us a comment or send restaurant suggestions to brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Remember, if we choose your suggestion Homer and I will make you dinner!



Later gators,
J

Hey there! New Contest!

Greetings readers!

Sorry, we have been on a brief hiatus due to the holidays, but that doesn't mean we haven't been keeping busy.

Homer called me from some remote area of New Mexico today with an idea to present to you all.

NEW BROWN ON THE TOWNE READER CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!!

This one's easy. All YOU have to do is send us suggestions for food type places to check out. We will randomly draw from the pool of suggestions, patronize your suggestion and as a reward, Homer and I will make you and your closest friends dinner.

How 'bout that?

To increase your chances of winning at random, include a short, persuasive essay as to why we should check your suggested place out. 500 words or less. Extra points to alliteration, assonance, allusion, or, if you are feeling saucy... Onomatopoeia.

KA-POW!!!!!

So send your suggestions to brownonthetowne@gmail.com

Thanks pals,

Jordan

P.S. I am planning to post some of my mini-food-adventures sans Homer on here as well.

We can think of these as Brown on the Towne reconnaissance missions.

Look for posts about San Diego Taco and Hartland BBQ in the next day or so!

P.P.S. Enter the contest. Send us suggestions. It's easy. Participants in our contests are always satisfied. Check out the results of our last contest!