Brown on the Towne

Beyond BBQ (46th and Dodge)

2011-01-17T19:20:00.000-08:00

Let me be straight with you, I really don't consider myself an expert on any of this, as I hope you would understand from reading my musings. I just like food. I don't consider myself a "foodie" or "gastronome". There's just something about those labels that oozes "pretentious".

I do consider myself "hungry" from time to time.

So, it was a Tuesday. And I felt like getting some barbecue.

Omaha has quite a few good barbecue places... at least in my opinion. Jim's Rib Haven, the recently closed Amarillo, Bill's Barbecue and Hartland are a few that I like. A new place opened not too far from home called Beyond BBQ.

Some friends informed me of a peculiar quality of Beyond BBQ: besides the expected ribs, brisket and pulled pork options, BBBQ has ASIAN FOOD. (Here is where I would like to insert the sound of needle scraping across a record - like this - it's late and I decided I'm too lazy to download and embed the sound, so just click on the link) And not just any Asian food, possibly Filipino food. This piqued my interest. I love BBQ and I drive by this place everyday, but now I MUST try it.

My primary mission was to ascertain whether or not this Asian food was, indeed, Filipino food.
Here's an excerpt of a twitter conversation between a friend and I as she found out I was at BBBQ. Great minds think alike. (you can follow me @Midtown_Brown if you're feeling saucy):

Me: Checking out Beyond BBQ in midtown.

Friend: @Midtown_Brown You *have* to try the egg rolls there. Yum!

Me: I did! FYI they are Filipino lumpia! Score.

Friend: @Midtown_Brown Oh, and you *must* try the pork kabobs sometime. OMG. Delish.

Me: I did that too! Fantastic!

Again, I was "hungry". Not only did I try Asian Platter #3 for pork kabobs, as suggested by my friends, I ordered egg rolls (or what we call "lumpia" in the Philippines), some wings AND a half rack of ribs.

Remember - "hungry".

And no, I did not finish everything. Just had to try it all.

The rib order was the logical progression of me seeing the BBQ sauce offerings at this place. Lots of vinegar based sauces and even a mustard based sauce. Nice! Most places around here serve up a KC style, thick, gloppy sauce that, to tell you the truth, gets old after a while.

Logic:
- I see sauce.
- I want to try sauce.
- In order to try sauce I must have meat.
- Order meat.
- Therefore I can try sauce.

See Homer, I still remember stuff from our philosophy class! Now, if i could make a barbecue sauce diorama... (sorry, OLD inside joke).

Bottom line: the Asian food is Filipino... maybe it's better to say Filipino-ish. The lumpia and pork kabobs are really good, but only represent a tiny portion of the Filipino food spectrum. Check out the Philippines episode of No Reservations for a good run down. Now if only this place started serving lechon...

The ribs were pretty good. Not the best I've had, but there's potential. Better than average for sure. It's a new place, so I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. The sauce selection was a nice surprise, and the sauce quality was really good. Very refreshing to have some vinegar and mustard based choices.

The place is run by a husband and wife team, and they are very nice. The husband is a jovial fellow, and I get the feeling he really wants to make good barbecue. The wife is from my parents' home town back in the Philippines and she treated me just like a family member, complete with the encouragement to eat more and constant prodding to become a doctor or engineer...

So, give the place a shot if you have the opportunity. Pricing is good and what you would expect for a BBQ joint. The Filipino-ish stuff can be had at around $6 bucks a platter. Not bad. Let us know what you think. Leave a comment or email us some suggestions of places too.

Check back for more. There might even be more tonight, stupid insomnia.

Later gators.

- J

The end of another hiatus?

2011-01-12T19:33:00.000-08:00

Hey pals,

So it seems BOTT may be fast approaching the end of yet another hiatus. If you have forgotten, we started this adventure back in November 2007. We then took year long breaks between December 2007 and December 2008, and yet again between February 2009 and February 2010. We've been on this current break for almost a year.

I am happy to report that Homero and I are all grown up now. H is a lawyer and I'm, hmmm... I dunno how to describe my job... I am no longer in grad school. Whoo! To tell you the truth, I am still figuring out how to do this "free time" thing again. I'm working on a list of activities to occupy my time.

Right now I am in my hotel room in Des Moines, IA. I've got a meeting to attend here in the AM, and while I'd rather be driving to Illinois right now to hunt down some Blatz Beer, I am instead taking a minute to report on a minor food adventure. I'm in a different town for a few, so why not?

After sifting through some helpful suggestions from some friends, I decided on Vietnamese food. It's freaking cold and all I could think of was getting some delicious, steaming hot pho (pronounced 'fuh'). For those unfamiliar, pho is (in my opinion) the all-time greatest of the noodle soup species. You can read more about pho here. For me, the broth has no taste equal. I really don't even have a clue as to how to describe it. It's just so good. I asked a Des Moines resident, and fellow Filipino, about some Vietnamese places to hit up. I went to a place called 'A Dong'.

Yeah, yeah... If Homer we're here, right now you would be reading the obligatory Brown on the Towne dick joke.

Their pho was good, but I've had better. Still very satisfying. I give them props for providing some very fresh thai basil, cilantro and bean sprouts to get thrown into the soup. I was more impressed by their ca phe sua da, otherwise known as Vietnamese iced coffee. I love this stuff. It's like the most pleasant feeling kick to face, if there ever was one. Take STRONG espresso, condensed milk and chicory, then throw it over ice.

If you're back in Omaha, grab a bowl of pho and ca phe sua da at the Vietnamese Asian restaurant on 72nd and Jones. You will not be disappointed.

I've stopped by some other places back in Omaha as a food blog warm up. Check back here for some quick thoughts on Beyond BBQ and Maru Korean Grill. Both good. Even better with good company. I have a feeling more posts will be headed your way as well.

Stay warm out there.

-j

Hey! Check this out!

2010-02-23T09:31:00.000-08:00

This is from last summer, but you should check it out anyway. Learn about our pal Peter and his phenomenal wood work at Measure Cut Cut Studio. Make sure to watch the video as well and look out for a plug for your two favorite food bloggers! Here!

-J

Juba Restaurant

2010-02-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

Juba Restaurant
1102 Northwest Radial Highway
Omaha, NE 68134
(402) 553-5686
Authentic Sudanese

JORDAN: Welcome back to Brown on the Towne.

HOMER: A blog for people who like to taste the rainbow of brown foods.

JORDAN: Less like a rainbow... more like a chocolate bar. So Homer and I decided to check out a little place on Saddle Creek called Juba Sudanese. I live pretty close to its location and have driven by many times.

HOMER: I think that place used to be called Super Mid K. But now, it has been demoted down to Mid K. And promoted to Juba!

JORDAN: Yes! We'll have to ask about the demotion. Maybe Mid K ate one of those mushrooms from Super Mario Bros and voila! Juba! MMMMM pixelated mushrooms.... drool...

HOMER: In a town (Towne?) full of beige-y eggshell restaurants, Juba is a shining beacon of all things brown.

JORDAN: LIGHT brown.... hahahahahaha.

HOMER: It has been a while since I have been to a restaurant this brown. Lately, I have been consuming sandwiches from this one freaky fast place, or eating fresh from another so-called restaurant. Not very much brown at all.

JORDAN: Romeo's Mexican food and pizza?

HOMER: How dare you.

JORDAN: Sorry, had to go there... I'm trying to connect this episode with our long lost Guacamaya trip. But yes, Juba is a fantastic example of why we endeavor to do what we do with this page.

HOMER: It is also an example of the reward you get for going a little out of your way. Since I moved to East Lincoln, it is sometimes easier to eat a super value meal or cook for myself.

JORDAN: Ah, East Lincoln... Sucks Homer. I live within walking distance of Juba. So if I ever get the hunger for some badass Sudanese food, I can be satisfied. I can satisfy my thirst too with their fantastic tea.

HOMER: Ok, so let's give people an encyclopedia entry on Sudanese food. I walked in this place not knowing what to expect. I know the Sudan is in Africa, but beyond that, I have zero knowledge of its cuisine.

JORDAN: The Sudan is Africa in microcosm: a large country with geographic, extremes ranging from sandy desert to tropical forest. It is culturally a loose association of almost 600 tribes who have Arabic as their common language. The French, the English, and the Italians have all had colonies in the Sudan. The cuisine is a melding of the many varied backgrounds of the peoples who have influenced its history. Favorite meats are lamb and chicken. Rice is the staple starch. Breads are the Arabian Khubz, but the Sudanese also make Kisra, an omelette- like pancake which is part of the Sudanese dinner. Vegetables, fresh and cooked, are of infinite variety. The okra, which incidentally came to the United States from Africa, is an important ingredient in a Bamia- Bamia, an okra lamb stew.

HOMER: And I would say that there is definitely a melding in this place.

JORDAN: True. I have spent time getting to know the owner, Taj and he has explained that the food he serves has been the product of the melding of many influences, but he still points out that, through the combination, something unique and special comes forth. He advertises Juba as the ONLY authentic Sudanese restaurant in town. (Towne?)

HOMER: That's fair. I am not going to argue with him. Mainly because I wouldn't know authentic Sudanese food if my right hand was made out of it. But my right hand is not made of delicious authentic Sudanese food, so you can stop drooling Jordan. And by the way, why are you always looking at me and drooling?

JORDAN: Dude, I'm a zombie. That's why. Mmmmmmmm... Homer.....

HOMER: Anyway, back to the food. At first bite, the food made me think Mediterranean.

JORDAN: True, Sudanese food does share some common dishes/ingredients as everyday Mediterranean, like Tabouleh and Baba Ganoush.

HOMER: On my first visit, I tried something I saw my TV food idol eat in Egypt. Foul. Foul is a daily dish in Egypt, and it is sometimes consumed in the morning, because it "sits like a stone in the stomach." This is man food right here.

JORDAN: What is in foul?

HOMER: Fava beans. Olive oil, onions, tomatoes, garlic and lemon juice. Tasty, but very filling.

JORDAN: Most definitely. A breakfast with that would set you up for some major pyramid building.

HOMER: Or chariot racing.

JORDAN: So, I've been to Juba a few times now, and have sampled some different things from the menu. The first time, I ordered the Sudanese style Tilapia. At that time I was unfamiliar with many of the things on the menu, but I was more interested in trying something that I was familiar with, but prepared in a culturally different way. Growing up I ate Tilapia like most kids ate fruit rollups.

HOMER: You mean you squished it up into a little ball and sucked on it until it was all gone?

JORDAN: Hmmm... no. What else did kids eat a lot of... Elmer’s glue?? Anyway... the tilapia was fantastic, and it was served as the whole fish: head, tails, eyes, bones and all. Just like Grandma used to make.

HOMER: So....Do you eat all of that? The heads and tails...soup to nuts?

JORDAN: Nah... those just comprise the obstacle course the worthy adventurer must traverse in order to enjoy the sweet, sweet victory that is tilapia meat. Advice to future patrons: make sure you know how to eat a whole fish before you try this. Is there a merit badge for fish eating?

HOMER: I don't know, but how should I practice? Should I start with a goldfish and work my way up? Are fish sticks a good starting place for me, the whole fish virgin? Guide me, oh wise one.

JORDAN: Are you asking me to teach you how to pop your fish cherry???

HOMER: Yes. I mean, no. I mean....OK., so on my second visit, I had the Musaheb. But Taj surprised me. My friend ordered the Kefta Kebobs, and instead of two wasteful, separate plates, Taz brought the whole meal out on one gigantic garbage can lid of a plate. With rice and okra. And my friend must have been cute or something cause Taz gave us goat and lamb meat also.

JORDAN: Wow.. lucky bastards! How was all of it?

HOMER: What a guy! It was all fantastic. And because it was family styley, I got to try a lot of different things. I would recommend this way of eating Sudanese food.

JORDAN: Yes, that sounds fantastic.

HOMER: It was fantastic.

JORDAN: As an add-on to my tilapia rant... Taj and I have spent some time chatting whenever I patronize their establishment. He's a cool cat. He opened Juba with the hope of repeating the success experienced by his brother's similar restaurant in NYC. During Super Bowl week he told me that the best food to eat is the tilapia during the game. So, me and some pals did just that. Taz said he sold 115 orders of tilapia for Super Bowl Sunday. Definitely earn your merit badge and eat this!

HOMER: The Brown Scouts! Gives a new meaning to the term "Brownies" eh?

JORDAN: Hey-Oh!!!!

HOMER: As a final note, I would like to place the African Spiced Tea Taj makes into the BOTT Hall of fame. I have never had anything like it. It is like Chai, but sweeter. It is like Kool-Aid but more sophisticated. It is like drinking mother's milk, but less creepy.

JORDAN: Yeah, you should quit doing that.

HOMER: On that note, thanks for reading. Stay tuned for some changes, and the same old humor and taste we always provide.

JORDAN: Yes! Check Juba out and help keep it in business! Food is affordable, tasty, and there are a ton of vegetarian options if that's how you roll. Remember to send us restaurant suggestions or compliments at brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Later gators.

One year to the day...

2010-02-08T21:15:00.001-08:00

It has been exactly one year since the last Brown on the Towne episode was posted...

Maybe if you check back soon, you will find some stuff posted about Juba (so goddamn good) or the infamous, missing Guaca Maya episode. Just sayin'.

You can go back to your facebook stalking.

See you soon...???

Twitter!

2009-06-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Hey friends!

Sorry for the extended hiatus!

Until we get rolling again check out our updates on Twitter! Homer and I will be posting about our food adventures in 140 characters or less.

www.twitter.com/brownonthetowne

J

Secret Asian Man II

2009-02-21T12:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Día de los Burrachos readers!!!!!!

I figured some of you (Debbie Z.) are anxiously awaiting the posting of our adventures at Guacamaya. Patience friends, your perseverance in the face of growing Brown on the Towne induced anxiety will soon pay off.

So to whet your appetite I am posting some of my latest reconnaissance. Enjoy!

Secret Asian Man II

Grand Fortune (Chinese/Dim Sum)
17330 W Center Rd # 106
(402) 697-9888

Those of you that know me well might ask, "What the hell is Jordan doing going west of 72nd street?!?!?!" That is a valid question. I enjoy most of my existence on the east side of town, but there are some worthy reasons to travel into the treacherous beyond, Grand Fortune's dim sum being one of them. For those of you unfamiliar, dim sum is the name for a Chinese cuisine involving a wide range of light dishes usually served in a small steamer basket or on a small plate. Usually you get a 3 or 4 pieces per plate/steamer basket. The opportunity to sample a great number of different dumplings, buns, pancakes makes this a fun dining experience.

I went there a few weeks back with friends Mary, Hal and Pete. We ordered in three rounds, each time we went for something different. We had steamed pork buns (amazing), shrimp and cilantro dumplings (amazing), leek buns (amazing), sui mai (amazing), turnip pancakes (amazing) and whole bunch of other stuff. All in all an excellent lunch. Between the four of us, around 12 different orders, our bill came to $40. Again, excellent lunch.

Dim sum is usually only served in the mornings and during lunch time, so don't expect to go around dinner and get some tasty treats like those you're staring at... there's drool on your shirt..

Stay tuned for more from this place. Homer and I are big fans.

Mother India (Tandoori)
3572 Leavenworth St.
(402)763-2880

Anyone remember Z's corner store on 36th and Leavenworth?? When I lived down on Leavenworth, Z's was a local destination for all things booze and tobacco. Since then the little cube of a building has been La Tia's Tamales and El Rebaño. A while back I heard rumors of an Indian restaurant opening in that spot. Me = excited. The idea of a small Indian restaurant close to work and home was titillating. Thanks to Ali, Nakiea and Amber for reporting about their experiences there. So I chose to check it out.

I had some vegetable samosas. Excellent! I am kicking myself for not asking if they were homemade. From the taste... light and crispy outer shells, warm and nicely spiced innards...
they gotta be homemade. I just wanted confirmation.

I ordered the Chana Masala. It consisted of chick peas, tomatoes, onion, garlic, spices and maybe ghee and ginger. Oh man, this stuff was great. Chick peas are a personal favorite of mine. You could give me a can of those while you rob me blind and I wouldn't care. The rice was decent, not great, but I would recommend trying this place out. I was super pleased with the Chana Masala.

Prices are very affordable. Most of the main dishes cost between $6 - $10. My total cost plus appetizer was $11. Not bad for tasty Indian!

So that's it for now. Keep sending us suggestions and LEAVE COMMENTS on the blog. Tell us about your experiences of any of the places you try. THIS IS KEY TO OUR STRATEGIC PLAN. So do it. Guacamaya is coming soon.

I will leave you with Rootbeer Floats from the Soda Fountain at the Durham Western Heritage Museum. You may drool now...

San Diego Taco!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- If you go, can we come???
Service -- Really, can we come??
Food-- Are you going yet??
Browness-- Seriously, if you're not there yet.. you suck.

San Diego Taco

10737 Mockingbird Dr., Omaha NE 68127

(402) 339-1410

Pure Goodness

Jordan: Okay, time for the first Secret Asian Man reconnaissance follow up! San Diego Taco!

Homer: It may not be fair to review this place. I had an amazing time, and most of it was not because of the food. I might have a hard time distinguishing the fun from the food.

Jordan: In my experience of this place, the fun is always there, but I can understand where you are coming from El Homer.

Let us introduce a new (soon to be recurring Brown on the Towne character): Naughty Mom!

Homer: Naughty Mom is a good time. Turns out either Naughty Mom has amazing intel, or she really did grow up in the house I am currently renting? How strange is that?

And don't forget Sally H.

Jordan: Of course, Sally! Best neighbor ever!

Homer: So with Neighbor Sally and Naughty Mom, we converged to culinarily conquer San Diego Taco.

Jordan: Let me tell you about the legend of San Diego Taco...

Many moons ago a wise sage (and BotT reader) named Peter C offered San Diego Taco as a suggestion for our food blogging adventures. He said the place was well worth checking out, but that the place wasn't always open. This intrigued me. In the end the limited number of open hours only added the allure of the food. I'm sure you faithful readers have seen the Secret Asian Man post about this place. It's so good I’ve been there 4 times since the start of January. I was afraid I over-hyped it for Homer.

Homer: Turns out, this is one place that lived up to the ridiculous hype. Just like [insert cliché sports personality]. The hype was not the problem for me. You paying attention? I am about to get philosophical on your ass.

Our mission is to seek out and draw attention to the best ethnic eateries in Omaha yes?

Jordan: Yes!

Homer: Well, I don’t know what to do with this place in my own mind! The food is so good.

So good.

The owner does a high end catering business on the side. And you can tell. I have had plenty of fish and shrimp tacos, and none have ever tasted as good as the ones I had here. It is like the owner has adopted the sandiegon....sandiegoan....sandiegun....cuisine and literally made it better.

Jordan: This place deserves the seldom awarded Brown on the Towne distinction of GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Homer: Where do you categorize a place that has changed reflected on a cuisine and made it high end?

Jordan: I am at a loss. It's so good. Let's take our readers through a chronological tour of our San Diego Taco experience.

Homer: I got to this place first. This is because I am a punctual and awesome person. I sat down and the server asked me if I wanted a margarita, and then went on to explain that the margaritas are made with their own homemade triple sec. Turns out, damn near every thing here is homemade. The chips and salsa came out and I ate some. Good, but nothing spectacular. And then, FINALLY Jordan got there.

Jordan: I got there on time, and I had to pick up Naughty Mom on the way.

And, when I got there, the good times started to roll!

As always.

Homer: Let me just say that homemade triple sec is different. In a margarita, it is good but different. Clove-y-er.

Jordan: I was able to sample the margarita. I am not a fan of sweet-type drinks, but I will say that San Diego Taco's margarita was pretty damn enjoyable. On previous visits I have witnessed a party of patron drink the place out of margarita booze so much that a waitress had to go to the store to purchase more. That's how good this shit is.

Now to the homemade sauces! There are three options for your palate. Your first option is a basic, hot, red sauce. Mighty tasty in its own right. Your second option is a smoky chipotle red sauce. This is killer stuff. Not killer like it will come to resurrect a dead body at the bottom of a lake that will proceed to go on a murderous rampage through cabins and New York City... but killer like, "man that is goddamn tasty!" Your third option is.... so good... a green sauce... I need a moment...

Homer: I believe it was described as a tomatillo, spinach, and chile sauce. Tangy, interesting and delicious.

Jordan: Oh my pants!

Homer: Speaking of pants, that is where Naughty Mom spewed smoky chipotle sauce. All over my pants.

Jordan: That's what Naughty Mom is good at. ZING!

Homer: I ordered a medley of tacos. One fish, one shrimp, one carnitas, and one chorizo.

Jordan: I ordered a medley as well. One chorizo, one carne asada, and one shrimp as well as a cup of chile.

Homer: Chile or chili?

Jordan: Whatever it was, it was guuuuud. I have had ample opportunity to sample their menu. I can honestly say that, from what I have had, everything has been damn good. I am torn on my favorite... it's a tie between the shrimp taco and the chorizo.

Homer: Again with you and favorites. I think the whole ranking and "list" system that is so prevalent in today's electronic society really takes away from the value of things. I do not have a favorite here. I do have lots of things that I would recommend to you. The shrimp and the chorizo are two of those.

Jordan: Hey man, you’re entitled to your own opinion. But you readers out there, if you so happen to get me some food from San Diego Taco, get me the shrimp or chorizo!

Homer: It is true. I would eat the chorizo all day long. Another thing that Paul (the chef) makes himself.

Jordan: He sells it by the pound too! Our waitress was awesome. She shared good information about the food, about the restaurant and was brave/cool enough to join into our ongoing conversations.

Homer: Even when it devolved into syphilis.

Confused? Hey, if you come to a BOTT event, you too will know the craziness we engage in.

Jordan: Sally eventually joined us and added to the magical wonder that is Brown on the Towne. She says the veggie tacos are fantastic.

Homer: Sally actually drove us all to drink.

Jordan: Thanks Sally! Throw in some homemade lime ice cream and crispy, chewy cinnamon tortilla strips…

Another successful BotT in the books! Make sure you guys call ahead to make sure they are open!

Homer: Suggestion contest ends at the end of February. And if you care to meet us, we will be at Clancy's on Tuesday, February 10 celebrating the day I came into this world. Oh, and cheese. Definitely celebrating cheese.

Jordan: Okay friends, leave us a comment here on the blog or send us an email at brownonthetowne@gmail.com!!! Adios.

Homer's Odysseys

2009-01-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

So Jordan got it going, and now I am going to have my own little shot at going to places solo. However, I am writing today to call all of you out. Yes all of you. I take that back. There are four of you who are being singled out in front of the class today. Little Brown, Peter, Allie and Beth, you may go to recess early. The rest of you....

WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT IN SUGGESTIONS????

It is not hard.

1. Pick a restaurant.

2. Make sure it is in some form or another somehow related to browness.

3. Send us an e-mail and or leave us a comment

And look, you are now entered in the contest to have Jordan and I make you dinner!!!! What could sweeter than that?

Look, I will even post pictures of Jordan and my previous food creations.

Please note: Jordan and I did not actually make any of these things. But I promise, the winner will not be disappointed!!!!!

Malara's Italian Restaurant

2009-01-22T18:41:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Prom and maybe Homecoming
Service -- Attentive
Food-- Homemade Spaghetti
Browness-- Bacon Meatball

Malara's Italian Restaurant

2123 Pierce St, Omaha NE 68108

(402) 346-8001

Italian

Jordan: Hey, readers. A new food adventure is on the way. We are looking at some pictures of past meals. Give us a moment to refresh, reflect and finish off a couple drinks...

Homer: If I would have written about every place that I have pictures of, there would be many blog adventures indeed.

Jordan: Indeed. If I would have written about every place I have pictures of, I would probably get arrested.

Homer: I have a question for you readers. Does it bother you that even though you know our biting wit, you do not know our faces?

See? That is what we look like!!!!

Jordan: We're gonna give you a minute to take us in.....

Homer: Had enough?

Jordan: 49

36-35=

DONE!

Homer: I think they have had enough "taking us in" time. Now on to the food!!!!! This week, Malara's Italian Restaurant.

Jordan: Yes. So, reader pals, we originally planned to post a Malara's food adventure episode a year or so ago. Any neighborhood, local restaurant famous for homemade spaghetti, sauces and sausage immediately warranted our attention.

Homer: Having actually visited this establishment twice, I would like to note that this place is consistent. Exactly like I remembered. I like that in a restaurant.

Jordan: Consistency is a good quality to have. It's comforting as well as dependable. Our readers have many experiences with this as we are consistently fucking amazing.

Homer: One of the things I want to do before I die, is go eat super authentic Italian food from a restaurant that is frequented by the mob. Can anyone out there covertly hook me up with this? I mean, unless hooking me up with eating at a restaurant means that I would somehow be indebted to the mob. I am no good at "offing," or "doing," or "icing," or "yodeling." Really I wouldn't be of much use to the mob. Especially if they expect a yodeling show. That being said, I don't think Malara's is in any way connected to the mob. It seems very family friendly.

Jordan: That it does. Malara's has a definite family friendly vibe, old school. When I was younger, Malara's was the goto place for homecoming and prom dates. It has the authentic, local vibe and great dependable food that is impossible to achieve at Applebee's or Chili's. If any of you readers out there took your prom dates to Applebee's, you should own the fact that you are a complete buster.

Homer: I took my prom dates to: Yo-Yos, Brother Sebastian's, and Gorat's. I took my Homecoming dates to Bronco Burger's, Chili's and Great Wall. I kind of spent all my money on Prom.

Jordan: I understand the larger appropriations for prom, but for your homecoming choices... you're almost a buster. Your visionary choice of Bronco Burger's cancels out Chili's.

Homer: Even in my poorest of days, I was still reaching for the stars.

Jordan: Seriously, how can you go wrong with a place where the grease makes the to-go bags translucent?

You can SEE YOUR FOOD!!!!!

Homer: Speaking of grease, let’s talk about the cheesesticks.

Jordan: Yes, cheesesticks. I'm sure all of you have indulged in cheesesticks before. I'm sure all of you think you have had "good" cheesesticks before. I'm sure all of you have had to deal with some sort of intestinal blockage due to "good" cheesesticks before. Let me tell you one thing... the cheesesticks at Malara's are, perhaps, the greatest cheesesticks to have ever blocked any intestine this side of the Mississippi.

Homer: I once watched Sandra Lee on "Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee" "teach" me how to make a cheesestick. She told me to go buy some string cheese, bread it, and then fry it. Ladies and gentlemen, THESE ARE NOT THOSE CHEESESTICKS!

Someday, when Brown on the Towne had its own website, there will be a page called "Brown on the Towne Hall of Fame." The first honoree will be these cheesesticks.

Jordan: These things have the perfect, semi-crispy, lightly seasoned, golden skinned crust surrounding the most amazing, melted, gooey... I need a minute......

......

Homer: You couldn't tell where the crust began and where the cheese ended. It was truly monumental.

Jordan: 11

Yes.

Homer: The salad that came out at the same time was nothing special. Iceberg. Some slivers of carrots. Something a rabbit would adore.

Jordan: Iceberg=crap.

Homer: I am not sure how you would make a salad something special though.

Jordan: I demand more from my salad. Give me some fresh leafy greens. I want kale. I want frisee. I want butter lettuce. I want cheesesticks in my salad!

Homer: Ok I take that back. Remember back to Sakura Bana? That was a special salad.

Jordan: Indeed. Their salad is wonderful. But it still would be better with cheesesticks. If you go to Malara's, get the damn cheesesticks. If you don't I will personally punch you in the kidney.

Homer: And Jordan is a scary guy. The only reason I do this website with him is because he says if I don't, he will lop off my nuts. Take him seriously.

Jordan: Then I'd make you sit in a pool of gin.

Homer: I am scared. Let’s talk about the main courses.

Jordan: Yes, let's.

Homer: MMMMMM.....gin.......I mean…… I had spaghetti with brascioli. 2 things: First, spaghetti at Malara's is homemade. I am not sure if any of their other pastas are homemade, but this spaghetti is wonderful. There is just something about homemade pasta. The second thing is that a brascioli is a bacon infused meatball. Whoever thought of this one should be given a medal.

Jordan: Or a blowjob. Yeah, I said it. Deal

Homer: Bacon is one of life's ironic pleasures. It tastes so good. But it is a killer. In 2008, over 80,000 people died from bacon related deaths. The sauce on my pasta was good, but it kind of reminded me of spaghetti-os. Either Chef Boyardee got Italian food right, or Malara's is a bit lacking when it comes to the sauce area.

Jordan: The sauce is rather pedestrian for a homemade marinara. At least in my experience. Maybe we need to recruit an Italian special correspondent for the blog. Italians are kinda brown right?

Homer: Yeah, sure. If they tan, then I guess they are brown. Any tanned beautiful Italian women care to come with us to Italian restaurants?

Jordan: I would like this time to introduce a new Brown on the Towne hallmark...

Let's call it the Homemade Highlight.

Jordan: As mentioned before, Malara's crafts their own spaghetti. Anything homemade and done well is deserving of our verbose, yet sometimes sarcastic, praise.

Homer: Especially assuming that crafting your own spaghetti for anyone who walks in the door could be time consuming.

Jordan: The noodles have a subtle flavor. In my pasta experience, flavor is mostly derived from the sauce and seasoning. Malara's spaghetti would be a treat on their own. Maybe with a touch of olive oil. Hey readers, you ever eat plain spaghetti with just butter before?

Homer: On Thursday at Malara's, there is a special called "Mama Malara's Naked Spaghetti." It is the Spaghetti in olive oil, and garlic sprinkled with parmesan cheese. That dish is the reason I fell in love with this place.

Jordan: I was definitely envious that day. But, then again, I had the brascioli that day.

The bacon infused goodness distracted me for sure.

Homer: As it would all but the most taste-bud challenged.

Jordan: On this most recent trip I indulged on the homemade Italian sausage.

I was not impressed at first. My first bites lacked star power, but as I progressed through the link, the fennel power emerged.

Homer: Mmmmmm.....fennel-ly

Jordan: Overall, the sausage is a solid, true presentation of Italian sausages I've had in the past. The brascioli still ranks higher.

Homer: The desserts we tried: Tiramisu, and Chocolate dipped cannoli. New way I have found to communicate: using a colon.

Jordan: Brown on the Towne Ethnic Eating Advice #43: Never eat your cannoli with a fork! No amount of bacon stuffed anything will save you from the shame of being a complete douchebag at the Italian restaurant.¹

Homer: Brown on the Towne Ethnic Eating advice #27: If you have to ask for the secret menu, you are not deserving of the secret menu.

Jordan: Ok folks. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Brown on the Towne. Leave us a comment or suggest some local eateries by emailing us at brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Make sure to participate in our reader polls!

1. Thus sayeth Malara’s staff.

Costa del Sol

2009-01-12T20:05:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- When you're in a pupusa kind of mood...
Service -- Friendly and helpful
Food-- Good, maybe need to explore the menu a little more...
Browness-- ¡Kolashampan!

Costa del Sol

4454 S 84th St, NE 68127

(402) 551-2176

El Salvadoreño/Mexican

Homer: Hello readers and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Glorious Festivus and so on and so forth!

Jordan: Special thanks go out to the few brave souls out there that sent us some food adventure suggestions. Right now you guys have a 50% chance of winning our current contest. For the rest of you busters... send us some restaurant suggestions. If we pick your suggestion, Homer and I will make you dinner. Homer, did you air any grievances this Festivus?

Homer: Yes I did. It turns out that in my search for food Nirvana, all I had to do was go home. Makes the struggle seem less important. Mom food is so Brown it doesn't have a brown label.

Jordan: Mom food is pretty sweet. So for this episode of Brown on the Towne we hit up Costa del Sol, an El Salvadorian eatery.

Homer: WHOA... we have a problem. Does this blog support the tilde? I only ask because when we talk about El Salvadorian food, the food is called El Salvadoreno. But with a tilde
~~~~~~~~~~N
#%%^&*$&^#$!

Jordan: El Salvadoreño!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Booyah!

Homer: All hail the power of Mac.

Geography quiz: without looking at a map, how many of you know where El Salvador is located? Here's is a hint, it is not in Australia.

Jordan: There it is! Now where in the world is Carmen San Diego???

Homer: I got to this restaurant first, and I had a little hesitation because the menu boasts a lot of Mexican cuisine. But knowing where the country is located, it makes sense that they have Mexican food.

Jordan: True, Brown on the Towne Rule #8 states that if non-native food is present on the menu, without good reason, then exit the establishment with much haste.

Homer: For example. Romeo's Mexican Food and Pizza. If you are ever presented with this opportunity, run. Immediately. They are not kidding when they say, "Nacho typical restaurant."

Anyway, back to Costa del Sol. Which means Costa of the Sol for you non-Spanish speakers.

Jordan: I was excited to check this place out in order to experience an El Salvadoreño specialty: pupusas! I have read favorable reviews and descriptions of pupusas since last year and have been curious to see if they were all they were cracked up to be.

Homer: And what exactly is a pupusa?

Jordan: Pupusas consist of a thick, hand-made corn tortilla that can be stuffed with one or more of the following: cheese, refried beans, squash, loroco (a Central American flower bud), squash or fried pork rinds.

Homer: I had a cheese and loroco pupusa. To be honest, I could not taste the loroco. It honestly felt like I was eating a flower.

Jordan: I had a pupusa with everything. Pretty damn tasty. The pupusa has the potential to be the next great street food. They are pretty easy to make and can be made to order, plus they are cheap. Good news for working class chumps like me. The only danger is if the original intent of the pupusa becomes bastardized by some enterprising business major. Ham and Cheese pupusas? Pepperoni Pizza pupusa?? We cannot allow this to happen.

Homer: Wait, hasn't that already happened? Isn't that just a Hot Pocket?

Jordan: DAMN YOU HOT POCKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I am shaking my fist in disgust...)

Homer: The pupusa is made from the tortilla Salvadoreña, which is the main staple in Salvadorean food. It seems like all cultures have their signature bread, the go to bread everyone uses as a mainstay of the cuisine. In Mexican food, it is the tortilla. In French food, it is the baguette.

Why is it do you think that American (I mean the Americas here) staple breads are quick breads, and European breads are risen breads?

Jordan: That is an interesting question... My initial feeling is that cultures making use of quick breads are less industrialized than the cultures with risen breads.

Homer: Just something to ponder. So what did you have to eat here?

Jordan: I ordered the Bistec Ranchero, basically skirt steak served with tomatoes, onions and peppers. On the side were rice, refried beans and a couple extra Salvadoreño tortillas.

Homer: No man. The modifier goes after the noun.

Jordan: Lo siento. Tortillas Salvadoreñas...

I admit, I was less impressed with my main dish than I was with the pupusas. The rice and beans were tasty, but there was nothing that stood out about the Bistec Ranchero.

Homer: The beans you had seemed different. I didn't try them but they looked like refried black beans. That idea alone is delicious. I had the "Combination."

This was a combination of grilled meats. I had chicken, beef, shrimp, and chorizo. It was good, but I concur with my fellow "taste" bud that there was nothing that made me salivate from 5 miles away.

The rice was interesting, but it did not have the star power I was looking for in a cuisine.

Jordan: You did have a beverage with some star power.

Homer: YES!!!!

Homer: Kolashampan!

An authentic beverage straight from El Salvador. It tasted like Big Red Soda, but with a Latin flair. No clue how to describe the difference. But it was delicious.

In light of the "troubling economic times" we have been hearing about, I think we should create an economic rating system for these restaurants. What say you?

Jordan: I like this idea... How many times could we eat there until we're broke??

Homer: Good. Good. Look for this feature on our short list.

Jordan: Excellent. Overall I liked the pupusas, and may stop in sometime to get some of those babies to go. Pupusas can be vegetarian friendly for you veggie types out there!!
But not much stood out besides that.

Homer: What do you say? Are we done here? Cause I have a hankering for some falafel.

Jordan: Works for me. Catch you later readers. Remember to send some restaurant suggestions to brownonthetowne@gmail.com or leave us a comment after the post. Keep an eye out for more episodes shortly!

Secret Asian Man! San Diego Taco!

2009-01-04T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

So Homer has been out of town and I have been scouting out places for Brown on the Towne to hit up. Thanks to some good pals, I visited San Diego Taco last Friday.

Since Homer was out of town, an authentic Brown on the Towne blog post was impossible, but I wanted to write a quick blurb about the the experience. I figure both Homer and I can contribute these type of short posts on our restaurant reconnaissance. These short entries can help us cover more places, increase the frequency of posting, and above all give you guys more options for your own culinary adventures.

I will refer to my individual adventures as a sort of spin off of Brown on the Towne called...

Secret Asian Man!

Ha.

San Diego Taco is located just east of 108th Street on Mockingbird. The room is comfy. In addition, the place has a hole-in-the-wall vibe. The food is damn tasty.

The food is authentic, southern California style Mexican food.

Prices are affordable. Ten bucks per person provides you with a tasty dinner.

Thanks go out to Niz and Peter for letting me tag along.

The verdict:

I like this place a lot. Expect to see a full Brown on the Towne episode devoted to San Diego Taco. Check it out pals. Call ahead before you go to make sure they are open (402-339-1410). Homer and I wanted to check them out previously, but they were closed. Is that a hassle?? No. Their limited open hours just adds to the allure of their damn tasty food.

That's all for now. Keep checking back. And, of course, we want to hear from you! Leave us a comment or send restaurant suggestions to brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Remember, if we choose your suggestion Homer and I will make you dinner!

Later gators,
J

Hey there! New Contest!

2009-01-03T18:11:00.001-08:00

Greetings readers!

Sorry, we have been on a brief hiatus due to the holidays, but that doesn't mean we haven't been keeping busy.

Homer called me from some remote area of New Mexico today with an idea to present to you all.

NEW BROWN ON THE TOWNE READER CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!!

This one's easy. All YOU have to do is send us suggestions for food type places to check out. We will randomly draw from the pool of suggestions, patronize your suggestion and as a reward, Homer and I will make you and your closest friends dinner.

How 'bout that?

To increase your chances of winning at random, include a short, persuasive essay as to why we should check your suggested place out. 500 words or less. Extra points to alliteration, assonance, allusion, or, if you are feeling saucy... Onomatopoeia.

KA-POW!!!!!

So send your suggestions to brownonthetowne@gmail.com

Thanks pals,

Jordan

P.S. I am planning to post some of my mini-food-adventures sans Homer on here as well.

We can think of these as Brown on the Towne reconnaissance missions.

Look for posts about San Diego Taco and Hartland BBQ in the next day or so!

P.P.S. Enter the contest. Send us suggestions. It's easy. Participants in our contests are always satisfied. Check out the results of our last contest!

Bohemian Café

2008-12-21T18:29:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Polka Band coming soon!
Service -- Kept the beer mugs full!
Food-- Gut Busting Immortality
Browness-- Pilsner

Bohemian Café

1406 South 13th Street

(402) 342-9838

Traditonal Czech

Jordan: Hello readers. It has been a while. Almost a year!

Homer: Don't worry about us though. In our hiatus, we have not gone hungry. I think I have probably put on a few pounds even.

Jordan: Ditto. I don't know if the year has made me any wiser. I do know I have become a little rounder.

Homer: More Buddha like?

Jordan: Yes. So friends, we have returned!!!!

Homer: Let's you and I (I mean the readers) make a little pact, shall we? I will promise not to be away for so long, if you will promise to tell us new and exciting brown places to go.

Jordan: Deal!

Homer: So on our plate today is a place we have had in mind since the inception of Brown on the Towne.

Jordan: It has been an institution of Omaha ethnic eateries for as long as I can remember. Think dumplings... boiled meats... beer in mugs...

Homer: "The two best places in Omaha to eat, here, and at home." I am of course talking about the Bohemian Cafe.

Jordan: And keeping with the tradition of inviting lucky readers to join us on our food adventures, we invited our own resident bohemian.

Homer: Nicky Z and his lovely wife, Erika Z.

So what were your preconceptions?

Jordan: My preconceptions were that 1) It was damn cold outside, 2) I was looking forward to drinking some draught pilsner in a ceramic mug to warm me up, and 3) the cuisine is something I am not familiar with, but I figured since bohemians live in a similar temperate climate as we do that the food would warm me up too. I've been to the Bohemian Cafe few years ago. I made sure to indulge in the draught beer in a mug... so much so that I don't really remember anything about what I ate, just that I was super full and on the verge of passing out on the way to the parking lot.

Homer: I have been to this place on a number of occasions. Every single time I have been, I feel like someone told a joke, and everyone got it but me. Everyone raved about their food, and I was only satisfied with mine. And I had not been there since I was of legal age to consume alcoholic beverages, so there was no saving the meals on that account. So walking in to this place, you really get a warm German pub feeling.

Jordan: Yes. The atmosphere was comforting, especially with the recent weather conditions here in town. Inside the dining room is dimly lit. The powder blue walls are sparsely decorated with family pictures, knitted crafts... and of course there was polka music playing in the background. The music did a nice job of making us feel warmer as well.

Homer: I have been to the Hofbrauhaus in Munich, and in some ways this little place reminded me of that. I have also been to the Hofbrauhaus in Las Vegas, and this place in NO way reminded me of that. Some of the waitresses were wearing what I can only assume is traditional garb. And as we walked in, there was delightful polka music playing. Have we talked about how music can make or break a restaurant experience before?

Jordan: I think we have not yet talked about the music. The polka tunes definitely set the stage. There's something about a tuba bouncing around the background with accordions and clarinets singing over the top. Kinda gets you moving. Maybe the tuba is the bohemians' version of the hip hop beat machine.

Homer: That is an interesting comparison. I never thought of it that way, but whenever i hear a tuba i just want to bounce around with it. I have been playing a video game recently in which you get a plastic guitar and you have to press buttons in time with the on screen rhythm. IT too makes me bounce around. DO you think there is a similar market for a big plastic tuba game?

Jordan: I think if marketed correctly, you might be on to a gold mine....

TUBA HERO!!!!!!

Homer: POLKA BAND!!!!

Jordan: Will the special edition of POLKA BAND come with a tuba, accordion, clarinet and lederhosen?

Homer: I don't know about you, but I would definitely pick up a plastic accordion and play Polka Band. I think my life would then be complete.

Jordan: I guess you could bounce up and down with the tuba to turn on your POLKA POWER.

Homer: Anyway, when we walked in there was Polka music playing. Not so after we had been sitting there for a while. What is it about Christmas songs that make any schmuck recording artist think they can do them well?

Jordan: Damn schmucks! Don't they know that by even recording a Christmas album, they in turn reduce the inherent Christmas-y nature of the holiday season. Schmucks! Let's just say the schmucks killed the mood.

Homer: I personally do not particularly enjoy Christmas music. Unless it is being sung by kids. Near Christmas Eve. Kids don't sit there and think to themselves, "Wow, if my parents in the audience really like this stuff, then I can finally produce my hit Christmas record I think will sell millions." They are happy, and they know they are getting presents soon, and no one else should be allowed to sing Christmas songs.

Jordan: Agreed. Let's get to the food. I had Svickova.

Its a popular Czech meal consisting of marinated beef sirloin with a cream sauce. With dumplings of course. With the weather outside, it was just what the doctor ordered. It was a lot lighter than I thought it would be. The meat was tender and savory. It was not cooked so much that the flavor disappeared. It was just right. I also had sweet and sour cabbage. The cabbage was a little too sweet for me. The texture was not crisp, but not yet mushy... somewhere in between. It's not a meal I would eat on a frequent basis, but it is something I would seek if I needed to fill up for some sort of wintery, heroic journey.

Homer: Like through the mountains of Desperation to seek the Sword of Protection?

Jordan: Something like that. I figure the dumplings expanding in my stomach would fill and seal any type of laceration or physical injury I might come across.

Homer: Yes, the dumplings. Unless you are round like Jordan and I, when they ask if you want one or two, consider getting one. They are less cute dumplings, and more “dumps™.” I had the Czech Goulash.

Let me tell you, I hit the jackpot this time. Spicy pork in a red sauce, but no noodles. You don't need or miss them, because of the dumps.™ It was spicy, it was filling, and it seemed like a necessary dish when you get tired of boiled meat, and dumps™ with gravy. Maybe it is the brown in me, but I love and need my food to be spicy. I also had Sauerkraut. I like a good "krauting" every now and again, but the sauerkraut on my plate was delicious. I might be able to eat it every day. It was substantial, and tangy and a little sweet, but not overly anything. Which is good, because i am not sure I saw another vegetable within 5 miles.

Jordan: Yeah... how do Bohemians get their fiber??

Homer: I don't know. But I worry about the blockage powers you described earlier.

Jordan: Maybe the blockage powers confer the power of immortality, thus canceling the necessity for fiber in the diet?

Homer: If i had the power of immortality, I would still try to die every time I had to take a dumps.™ Speaking of dumps,™ Erika Z had a unique and tasty dish worth mentioning.

Jordan: Yes, plum dumplings. Mountains of goodness!

Homer: These were smaller dumplings that were sweetened, with cinnamon, and inside all four of them, there was a plum, waiting to be enjoyed. I would have ordered these for dessert, if I hadn't ordered Kolachis. Kolachis reminded me of an empanada, cut open to reveal the stuffing. Mine was apricot. Delicious, but seriously, the plum dumplings are worth going for, even if they do take 3o min to prepare. Order a plate for the table, with your meal, and you should be fine.

Jordan: Yes, very tasty. Thanks for sharing Erika Z! I would add another mug of beer to my dessert.

Homer: WARNING. Do not try to take on a plate of plum dumplings by yourself after eating your meal. It may prove disastrous.

Jordan: But if you do, please make a video of your attempt and send it to brownonthetowne@gmail.com!!!!!!

Homer: That is all for this episode. Join our Facebook group to keep abreast of all our new comings and goings. And if you ever need an eating companion, let us know!

Jordan: See ya pals.

December 19, 20, 21

2008-12-15T11:59:00.000-08:00

Can you feel it?

Dining Out for Life

2008-04-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

Tuesday April 8th - Eat for a good cause!!!!!!

Tuesday is the annual Dining Out for Life event here in the Omaha/Lincoln/Council 'tucky area to benefit the Nebraska AIDS Project. So if you are planning to eat tomorrow, why not make your experience good for you and for many others in the world. Many of you know I worked at the AIDS Project for a time, so this cause has great meaning for me. All the educators, case workers, counselors, doctors, families of those affected and the infected themselves need as much as help they can get, especially in the conservative midwest. Eating out is the least we could do. Keep in mind, the brown parts of our world are disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS. Brown on the Towne is proud to support our brethren.

Here's a list of places to hit up. If you want to go with me I'll be at the Radial for breakfast/lunch.

later gators,
J

Baby please..??

2008-04-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hello again readers...

So we've become deadbeat food bloggers... don't expect any reader support payments any soon. By the by... can we borrow some scratch to pay off our gambling debts. We'll pay you back. You know we're good for it.

Since our last post waaaay back in December '07, Homer and I have neglected our responsibilities as honorable food bloggers to the world. We did manage to hit up a couple places; Malara's, Katie's Greek along with a special guest. However we could not find the time or motivation to write up our adventures.

So in short:

Malara's - go there, get the bacon stuffed meatball (brascioli), and if you eat a dessert cannoli with a fork --> you = douchebag.

Katie's - Opah!!!! the flaming cheese is a must! Not to be confused with the gay cheese.

As for the future of BOTT!, we are unsure of format (we would like to have a full website, not just a blog). At some point (when the semester ends) reviews will reappear as they have in the past.

Suggestions from you all are welcome.

I am thinking I will post on my personal food adventures until things get rolling again.

So for now here are some suggestion if you hunger for Brown on the Towne approved eats.

Cuba Linda - as always

Victors - best gyros/falafel in town

The Taj - try the samosa with chat

try this place...

--J

Holiday fun from Brown on the Towne

2007-12-25T18:47:00.000-08:00

What's up everyone...

We here at Brown on the Towne are in a little holiday hiatus and will resume saying things about places where food is soon.

So remember that COOLEST THING CONTEST??!?!?!?! Some awesome readers have sent us some stuff and we would like to recognize them for taking a few moments out of their day to send us some stuff.

Here's a sweet ass incense box from reader Laura. Check out the neato wood burnings.

And here is a pic from a photo project by readers Nakiea and Natalie

Thanks friends!

And in the spirit of the commercialized holiday season, we here at Brown on the Towne want to present these folks some prizes. Sorry we won't be taking you out to eat, yet, but we actually got some real prizes. So boo to all of you who didn't bother to send us anything. Your loss.

Thanks to the philanthropy of our Brown on the Towne Special Guest #1 Pete, we have these prizes to offer our contestants. Awesome!!!!!!!

Brown on the Towne kicks ass. Next time we have a contest, you better damn send us something.

Later taters.

Lisa's Radial Cafe

2007-12-18T19:11:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Not an issue. Been going for years.
Service -- Make your presence known, then you are in!
Food-- Artery clogging goodness.
Browness-- Sausage Gravy.

Lisa's Radial Cafe

817 N. 40th Street, NE 68131

(402) 551-2176

Diner/American Classic

Homer: One of you out there has decided to be nearly as cool as Jordan and I and send us cool stuff. You know who you are. You are the coolest.

Jordan: We totally appreciate your coolness and your coolness just amplifies the lameness that everyone else basks in for not sending us cool stuff. Nice work LK.

Homer: Let's reiterate. Browness is a state of mind.

Jordan: Yes... Non-brownness thus qualifies, sort of, for our brand of existential food reviewing.

Homer: Just because a place is ethnic doesn’t' mean it is brown. And just because a place is not ethnic doesn't mean it is non brown, would you agree?

Jordan: Yes, I think. Sooo, that brings us to the next destination of Brown on the Towne, Lisa's Radial Cafe.

Homer: I am trying really hard to justify here....

Jordan: I feel you on that one, but there's enough left over smoke residue in that place to make it brown enough my friend.

Homer: Do you know some Radial history that I am unaware of?

Jordan: Just that it is the oldest, and previously smokiest cafe in Omaha (before they passed that darn smoking ban).

Homer: Ahh. I thought you might have some old speakeasy story, or heard that it used to be a cigar factory...

Anyway, TO THE FOOD!

Jordan: Doing the Radial was a request from some faithful Brown on the Towne readers. Those lucky yahoos even got to be our Brown on the Town Special Guests #2-5. You filthy animals you!

Homer: When do we stop numbering our special guests? I don't know about you, but I think giving people numbers is something that should remain in the realm of the DMV.

Jordan: Are you suggesting we create BOTT code names for these folks? Maybe assign them names of famous authors like Thor Heyerdahl??

Homer: What's BOTT?

Jordan: Brown On The Towne mofo!! BOTT!!!

Homer: Right on! Maybe it could be like Sesame Street, and we could introduce them as a number and a letter

Jordan: I think that's workable.

Homer: Today's BOTT was brought to you by the letter X and the number 69. Today's special guest, X69!!!

Jordan: Homer, allow me an opportunity to do what I shall now dub, "Jordan fuzzily remembers things he used to did."

Homer: Go man go!

Jordan: So back in the day I lived in a wonderful, magical place I will refer to as Hamilton House. In that house lived magical creatures called The Kid, Cool Breeze and Cowboy Cal. Every so often, (or every night) we would have neighbors, friends, friendly animals, enemies, whomever over for parties. The parties would go on, trees were climbed, many a good time had. Usually the next morning as I would deliriously try to hide from the sunlight creeping in through my window, a faint rumble, no, a voice in the distance could be heard. That voice would say, "r-r-ra-di-al". I would turn in my bed wondering if really heard what I thought, and I would hear it again, only louder and minutely more coherent, "radial". Other voices would join in. Then I found myself enchanted by this morning magic and roaring radial at the top of my lungs. Then the roomies would appear in the hallway and we would go to the Radial.... Ah memories.

Homer: Sounds like heaven. If heaven had rafts...

Jordan: Let's just say the Radial conjures fond memories... the rafts, though wonderfully delicious, would be the cause of many digestive nightmares later in the day.

Homer: What exactly is a raft you ask?

Jordan: A pure, unadulterated, hangover cure and artery clogger kneaded into an amazing plate of goodness.
Here is an example:

Homer: Wow. Look at the size of that thing! I am not such a regular at the Radial as Jordan. But the raft is legendary. Curing hangovers since 12 AD. Or round about there.

Alas, the raft was not in my cards that day. I tried more traditional breakfast fare. I ordered the corned beef hash. Now that reminds me of my childhood. Frosty mornings in my flannel PJ's around a fireplace delicately sampling delicious corned beef hash...wait. I think I made that up. Actually, I grew up in balls hot Phoenix, I slept in my underwear and my family ate corned beef hash from tortillas. Ahh the memories...

Jordan: I understand and respect your menu selection that day. The Radial has excellent breakfast foods served all day long. What did you think of the hash?

Homer: Well, to be honest it tasted just like I remember. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing. I mean, they were wonderful memories, but I don't know if corned beef hash was all that great back then either. And the raft?

Jordan: Oh the raft... I need a moment..........................................................................................okay.

For those uneducated in the structural composition of the raft.... The foundation is made up of an entire plate of hash browns. On the hash browns rests two buttermilk biscuits. The whole thing is smothered in the Radial's famous sausage gravy. Quite the meal, but that's not all. On top of the whole thing are two eggs made to order. I need another moment...............................

It was great.

I will advise you, faithful readers, to try visiting the radial on a weekday. The weekends are full of preppy college kids and west O expatriates looking for a sense of authenticity to boost their egos. On the weekdays you meet the neighbors, the regulars and some really cool blue-collar folk with interesting stories to share.

Homer: Good advice. I also have some sound advice. Never try to eat a Tablespoon full of cinnamon. Or if you do, make sure someone videotapes it.

Another Chick Tries Cinnamon Challenge - Watch more free videos

Jordan: Remember kids, leave us comments and suggestions here on the blog or email them to brownonthetowne@gmail.com. Also send us cool stuff!!!!!!!!

Caribbean Delights/Jamaican Jerk

2007-12-17T20:19:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- How often does stewed meat sound appetizing?
Service -- Personal and friendly
Food-- Dangerously appetizing
Browness-- Radioactive Yellow

Caribbean Delight/Jamaican Jerk

2304 N. 72nd Street Omaha, NE 68134

(402) 391-1081

Caribbean

Homer: Back with a vengeance...It is Brown on the Towne!

Jordan: In preparation for our victorious return, I ate at Cuba Linda just an hour ago!!!!!

Homer: It is so damn wonderful, it makes me want to cry.

Jordan: So a while back we checked out this place called Caribbean Delights.

Homer: AKA, the Jamaican Jerk.

Jordan: That asshole.

Homer: Seriously, this place is so cool it has two names.

Jordan: Sweet. I got there first and got to chatting with the owner for a few. He was definitely a cool dude and, since I had no previous knowledge of Jamaican food, he gave me a crash course in all the good stuff. Cool guy.

Homer: Hold on. We forgot something very important! This restaurant marks the first special guest appearance in Brown on the Towne history!

Jordan: Oh hell yeah!!!!!!! Let us introduce you to Brown on the Towne Special Guest #1 Peter!

Homer: Don Pedro. The bearded wonder. The sex machine himself. It was an honor and a privilege.

Back to the facts. I walked in on Jordan's conversation with the chef/owner. They were in heated debate about something or other. Probably way too deep for this guy, I do not know, I was not there.

Jordan: We were discussing the correct way to pronounce "Ya Mon!" I was confused about which syllable to stress. Not really. We were talking about his business and I specifically asked him about operating in a mostly conservative town like Omaha.

Homer: And what did he say?

Jordan: He liked the fact that a lot of people here are friendly and patronize his establishment regularly. He wishes that customers were more adventurous and try new things instead of just getting the jerk chicken.

Homer: What an asshole, that chicken. I didn't hear that statement, but it makes what he told me later even funnier. I perused the menu for a while and set my sights on the Oxtail (Stew). When I informed him of my decision, he said, "White people will try anything." I am not sure if he was being sarcastic, or if he meant it. I laughed though. I guess he did not appreciate my level of brown...

Jordan: Sad... Maybe it was the lighting???

Homer: True, the lighting made everything look...well...neon...

Jordan: very festive. What did you think of the oxtail??

Homer: The oxtail was very typical of all the dishes I have eaten at this place. Braised meat, subtle spices, and fall off the bone tender. It was the same for the curried chicken I had before. Braising meat takes a long time, and it takes on a very distinct flavor and texture characteristic. I like it, even more so because seriously, who has time to braise meat these days?

Jordan: Time well spent. When I was talking to the chef/owner earlier he educated me about some of the traditional Jamaican dishes they serve. One he spoke of and I eventually ordered was Ackee and Salted Codfish. Ackee is a fruit native to the West Indies and if not ripened just right it is poisonous.

Homer: No shit. Did you just make that up?

Jordan: No sir. That's the straight truth. I felt like living dangerously that night.

Homer: The oxtail, when not prepared properly, tastes like a cows anus... Your dish makes me sound like a wiener. Straight up frankfurter. A salami even. What does Ackee taste like? Besides death...

Jordan: I am not sure what it tastes like exactly. The fruit in the dish was heavily seasoned and sautéed with onions, garlic and olive oil. In the dish it tasted almost like scrambled eggs.

Homer: Luckily for you, you had some fried dumplings to sop up all that scrambled egg goodness.

Jordan: Very true. These things were monstrous. I could only eat one and they served me three. Two words: Homemade Juices!!!!

Homer: Oh yeah. I forgot about those. You know, lately, my instinct for the amazing is dead on. I was going to order something else, but the homemade fruit punch called to me like a stalker ex-boyfriend.

Jordan: Was your stalker ex-boyfriend as tasty as the homemade fruit punch?

Homer: No. He tasted like pickled herring and gin... This tasted like real fruit juices and spices.

Jordan: Very good stuff. I would even say that the homemade juices get a Brown on the Towne seal of quality and approval.

Homer: At this point, I would like to perform what I shall now dub,
"A rant, By Homer."

Jordan: So be it...

Homer: I too indulged in these so called "dumplings." Mine were not fried; they were a massive cake-like-contraption, with little to no taste. It was like someone had supersized a noodle, shoved it under my oxtails and decided I should eat it. It really did not add anything to my dish, and furthermore, I was under the impression that anything with a cute little name like "dumplings" should be small and cute and mischievous. These were bulky and ugly and totally non mischievous.
Fin.

Jordan: And now…the wonderfully one armed, truly titillating, dastardly democratic, the foodsical stylings of PETE !!!

Pete: Hey guys.

Jordan: What did you think of Caribbean Delights??

Pete: The path of the jerk…goat… in particular… very… cohesive, very… sexy! (Pete’s interview was edited for content and to fit in the time allowed.)

Jordan: Very good. Thanks Pete. Homer, brownness??

Homer: I am going to have to say, radioactive yellow, the same color of Pete’s dish. Is that a form of brown?

Jordan: It is today!

Homer: One final note. Try the cornmeal pudding. It puts the ding back in pudding.

Jordan: Bye friends! Remember to check back for more updates. Leave us comments and suggestions here or send to brownonthetowne@gmail.com. We're still waiting for people to send us cool stuff for the "cool stuff" contest.

Are you ready????????....

2007-12-17T08:01:00.001-08:00

I've heard a rumor circulating town the past couple of days.

You wanna hear it?

The rumor is that Brown on the Towne will resume posting today..!!!!!!

Also that the delay is due to the fact that Homer has been on a Yoga retreat and Jordan was checked into rehab.

Hey there faithful readers!!!!

2007-12-08T09:06:00.000-08:00

Hey readers!

Judging by the traffic on the site, many of you must be anxiously awaiting the next restaurant review. I don't blame you. I know Homer, I know me... we're both awesome, and what we write ends up being the offspring of the awesome.

I am sad to inform you that Brown on the Towne will not have a new restaurant review up until early next week. In fact we will have TWO, that's right, TWO new adventure logs to share with you.

So why must you wait a little longer....? Because of this website.

Not really. Its the end of the semester. Homer and I have law school, grad school crap to do.

Remember, send us cool stuff to brownonthetowne@gmail.com!

Sakura Bana

2007-11-27T19:49:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Sparingly...delicious but expensive

Service -- Love the hot towels!

Food-- 明珠強兵

Browness--Shiba Brown

Sakura Bana,

7425 Dodge Street Omaha, NE 68114

(402) 391-5047

Japanese

Jordan: Dude, feeling good from all the love we've been getting...

Homer: Thanks to everyone who sent us comments and such. It makes me want to go on for another day!

Jordan: Just one.....but.....if you leave us comments, suggestions and pictures of cool things, Homer may go on for two more days.

Homer: All the extra time would be appreciated. Sakura Bana

Jordan: Konichiwa!!!!!!!!

Homer: How would that be in Japanese characters?

Jordan: 今日は

Homer: How elegant! I didn't know you wrote/spoke Japanese!!!

Jordan: I surprise myself sometimes. For those of you unaware, Sakura Bana was formerly called Sushi Ichiban and was formerly housed in a former IHOP building on 84th and Dodge. I'm still deciding if I like the new location or not.... the old place had a good thing going on...

Homer: Sushi Ichiban means, “Fluffy Squatting Dog,“ in Japanese. I guess I understand why they had to move. Regardless, the new place is...well...new. It feels new, it looks new, but from what I can remember, the taste is old school.

Jordan: Word. Old School like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

Homer: Ahh yes..good old Grandmaster....(?) For starters. We ordered some sushi. I was curious as to what a hand roll is. So I got a California hand roll. I like to speak in short broken sentences.....

Jordan: California hand roll... sounds dirty...

Homer: It was dirty. It was so dirty I stuffed it all into my mouth....ok but seriously. A hand roll is like a delicious sushi ice cream cone. If sushi is chicken nuggets, a hand roll is a chicken breast. Delicious.

Jordan: We also got some spicy tuna sushi and sea urchin. I don't know about yous, but sea urchin almost has some sort of forbidden allure to it. Maybe it's just from watching too many old Iron Chef episodes. I can imagine a Japanese Soap star reminiscing of how the delicate flavors remind her of her childhood...

Homer: What is it with the sexual innuendos today? Anyway, yes I agree. But I was never mystified by battle sea urchin, just disgusted...I mean come on, sea urchin ice cream. Sea urchin is one of those things you have to put in your mouth to really experience. Like pop rocks. Or a "cement mixer." I am on the fence....

Jordan: For those of you wondering, the sea urchin was actually quite creamy. Salty too...Definitely not what I expected.

Homer: Are we done talking about sea urchin? This is making me uncomfortable.

Jordan: I ordered the lunch box special, the obento. Bento is basically an entire meal served in a compartmentalized box. Mine had tempura shrimp, pork teriyaki, rice, salad with carrot ginger dressing... love carrot ginger dressing... If you're looking for a little of everything, bento is the way to go.

Homer: I heard "lunch box" and was steered away from that direction. I have too many memories of plain bologna sandwiches and pop rocks to go for something called a lunch box. But when it came, it did look very tasty. I had the Champon. I was looking for a noodle dish, something peasanty and filling. That is exactly what I got. Noodles, chicken, fish ball, an egg and vegetables all in a delicious broth. And the mushrooms were intense. Definitely not expecting the intensity of the mushroom.

Jordan: Were they "firecracker up your ass" intense??

Homer: No, they were more like eating dirt intense. But in a good way. I don't mean to make this comparison, but it was like eating Ramen Noodles on steroids. Please don't take that the wrong way. I love Ramen Noodles. These were just a better version.

Jordan: I enjoyed my food quite a bit. Tempura shrimp is one of my all time favorite foods (readers, make a note of this). The crisp outside and the warm, savory shrimp inside... the delicate... flavors... remind me of... snowflakes.. from... my... childhood.

Homer: OH YEAH!! I had a taste memory too! I forgot about that! But now I can't remember what it was about.....

Jordan: The strawberry mochi ice cream!!!! More specifically the gummy shell.

Homer: Hell yeah. The strawberry mochi ice cream (SMIC) reminded me of running out to my grandma’s street and buying those ice cream things that came in the shape of cartoon characters.

Jordan: Ahh taste memories...

Homer: I had the green tea ice cream (GTIC) for dessert. Interesting....

Jordan: It looked like a mound of wasabi in a dish.

Homer: That would be a funny prank to play on someone. Freeze a mound of wasabi and serve it as ice cream...I am now on the lookout for green mounds of frozen things… It was good. Very subtle. Very elegant. More of a dessert, and less of an ice cream. Light and refreshing

I have a complaint about this restaurant. They did not give me a damn fortune cookie. What, Japanese people think they are so good that they do not need to fill a cookie with a paper of destiny? What is going on with that?

Jordan: I think they're still pissed about the bomb.

Homer: I think we are done here. E-mail your comments and questions and $20 Bills to brownonthetowne@gmail.com

Jordan: Real quick... thanks to all our friends sharing kind words and comments Pam, Laura K., Sgier, Adam, Debbie and our new pal Anthony. Everyone else, you should be as cool.

Homer: For the sweet holiday month of December, we are having our first contest. The rules are as follows. You send us the coolest "thing" in the mail, e-mail or in person, and Brown on the Towne will take you and your closest friend (preferably hot closest friend) to lunch. Brown on the Towne reserves all rights to decide what constitutes “cool.”

Brownonthetowne@gmail.com, or
610 S. 70th St. Omaha, NE 68106.
Good luck and send us something cool!

And the Winner is...

2007-11-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

Here is a special thank you to one of our wonderful contributors, Anthony. We are not sure who he is, but this is an artist's depiction of one possibility.

Anthony sent us kind words and pictures of hot chicks.

My man, when we do Alvarados, AND WE WILL, lunch is on us!!!!!!

Brown on the Towne

Cuba Linda

2007-11-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Already have.
Service -- Dreamy
Food-- Go here. Now.
Browness-- Worthy Bronze

Cuba Linda

10841 Q Street Omaha, NE 68137

(402) 592-1214

Cuban

Jordan: : 3... 2... 1... it's Brown On the Towne

Homer: I would like to start this week by saying that the restaurant we patronized is the reason I wanted to do this whole mess in the first place.

Jordan: I think it is also safe to say that this week's restaurant is our first "GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!" recommendation.

Homer: Drop everything you are doing (unless it is between the hours of 2:30 and 5:00, because they are closed then). Go. Do it. You have been warned.

Jordan: Do it or we'll put you in Guantanamo....

Homer: What a segway(sp?)!!!!!!

Jordan: The name of the place is Cuba Linda
10841 Q St
Omaha, NE 68137
(402) 592-1214
Originally the plan was to eat at a Cuban restaurant this week... it just so happened that the one we wanted to hit up first was closed.

Homer: The Cuban gods hath smiled upon us!!

Jordan: : Que Suerte!!!! GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!

Homer: I walked in, and no one was in this place. Not one person. Ok except the cook and his daughter. She sat me down and flirted and talked while I waited for Jordan.

Jordan: I was definitely on time this week. On my way to the original destination, Homer left a voice mail informing me about the switch of venues. At the time he was enjoying a tasty appetizer... the euphoria in his voice foretold of the sweet, sweet goodness that is Cuba Linda. GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!

Homer: First order of business. The Toston. I dislike plantains. I mean, if I wanted to eat a non- sweet banana, I would munch on a mushy potato. That is what they taste like to me. However, what this guy did to these hated fruits was pure magic. Imagine a banana. Now imagine it tasting like a potato. NOW imagine a guy deep frying 5 or 6 slices of this and drizzling them with a mixture of olive oil, lemon juice and chopped garlic. Excuse me , I need a minute...

Jordan: I arrived the moment Homer completed his conquest of the tostones. Across the table Homer sat satisfied. On the table was a barren serving plate with small splotches of ketchup like the blood stains from a murder scene.

Homer: Hold on. I need to explain the ketchup. I have been watching Iron Chef a lot lately. What they do with their food in terms of balance truly mystifies me. I felt like I had been handed a plate from Iron Chef Cuban. He added ketchup to his already magical creation. And guess what? It was better than before. Just the right amount of ketchup. It was strategic ketchup placement.

Jordan: I ordered a plate of tostones as well. The ketchup strategery was artful.

Homer: But enough about the appetizers. We have much to discuss.

Jordan: : For my main course I ordered the Number 1, Pork Fricase with red beans and rice and yuca root.

Homer: In Spanish- Fricase de lechon con gris y yuca.

Jordan: I am still not quite sure how to describe how good it was.... I've been meditating on that for the past couple days.

Homer: No words come to mind. Try describing an orgasm without saying it was an orgasm. Some things just speak for themselves.

Jordan: Well said.

Homer: I ordered the number 2. Lechon con gris y yuca. Now some of you who are paying attention may be saying to yourself, "but they ordered the same thing!!!!" Well, for the most part, you are right. And I don't care. I would say I have experience in certain kinds of foods. Not because I am an expert or anything, but because I have had them quite a bit. And within those specific styles, there is a dish I find is the benchmark of the style. With Mexican, it is Green Chile. With Cuban, it is roast pork. And for the record, the roast pork at Cuba Linda is wonderful.

Jordan: I think the search for the style benchmark, the flagship food, is part of our de facto mission as Brown on the Towne. Not only are we doing the leg work or the mouth work, we hope to educate and guide you, the reader, to the best each place has to offer.

Homer: I have in fact already been back to Cuba Linda in the time since we went and now. That is how good I think this place is.

Jordan: Ha! I was planning to go last night for dinner...

Homer: I could go on and on about the food here, but let me clue you all in to something I find particularly excellent about the food. The sauce. Mojito. Not the rum drink. This sauce is the one I described above on the tostones. Olive Oil, Lemon Juice and chopped garlic. And maybe other secret magic ingredients. Eye of newt? Who knows, but this is where the flavor is at. Order extra and you will not regret it. Now moving on...

Jordan: For desert I ordered coffee. For those who are not informed on the matter, Cuban coffee, specifically the espresso, is something I consider a world class treat. The espresso at Cuba Linda did not disappoint. Cuban-style espresso is made by adding sugar to the container where the espresso will be collected after brewing in the espresso machine. The drink has strength of espresso, but with a smooth, sweet flavor that is unobtainable by simply mixing sugar into a regular espresso. it's awesome.

Homer: The "flan" was much less eggy than I usually have it. A sweet surprise. I really could not have asked for a better lunch.

Jordan: For sure. Gobackability.... seriously, you've already been back and I have been planning to go back. It's only been two days since we've been there....

Homer: Just go. Seriously. Go. Do yourself a favor, bundle up your honey and five of her closest friends and go.

Jordan: Go, not only for the food and experience, but to keep the place afloat so we can go back and enjoy it as often as we choose.

Homer: Agreed.

Jordan: Do it or I will definitely put you in Guantanamo. Service?

Homer: She was dreamy. There when I needed it. Although the second time I went, she was not there, and had I not spoke Spanish, I might have had to resort to pointing to the menu.

Jordan: And of course... Browness???

Homer: You are letting me pass judgment on the browness? What if I screw it up?

Jordan: To me, it feels most appropriate for you to rate the browness for this place. For as good a place as this was, I’m not sure you could screw it up if you tried.

Homer: I choose...Bronze. A worthy color for a worthy restaurant.

Jordan: Alright folks, this has been Brown On The Towne. Happy Turkey Day. Remember: if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, you can use the comment function after each post or e-mail us at brownonthetowne@gmail.com.

Homer: Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Saigon

2007-11-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Get it to go
Service -- It is Spicy...are you sure?
Food-- Quite Tasty
Browness--Preppy Light Khaki

Saigon,

12100 W Center Rd Omaha, NE 68144

(402) 697-7000

Vietnamese

Jordan: Let's light this candle… The candle is en fuego.

Homer: This week, we decided to go someplace on the opposite end of the food spectrum

Jordan: And we found a really short dude and a pot of gold....

Homer: What a tasty pot of gold!!! Sometimes I see food in Omaha as on a five point star...kind of like a pentagram. Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Pizza and Sandwiches.

Jordan: I feel ya on that one. So where on the star would we place our most recent adventure?

Homer: I guess you could add Chain American as well... If it had to be on the star I suppose it would fall somewhere between Chinese and.... um....sandwiches...

Jordan: I have never experienced such deep philosophy. You should make a diorama.

Homer: I have a lot of free time....and I eat alot... OK. The place we went this week was called Saigon

Jordan: Alright Saigon, 12100 W Center Rd Omaha, NE 68144
(402) 697-7000.

Homer: Yes that is the one. Saigon, A Vietnamese circus in your mouth.

Jordan: We made an improvement in our tasting technique, if you will. this time we ordered different items.

Homer: Well, we ordered differently before, but it just wasn't different enough.

Jordan: I liked the food quite a bit. We started with spring rolls right?

Homer: Vietnamese spring rolls. Spring rolls never do it for me. At least not by themselves. It is always the sauce that makes them good. These had shrimp and vegetables and rice vermicelli. Kind of like every other spring roll I have ever had.

Jordan: I thought the spring rolls were pretty tasty. For me the distinguishing factor is the freshness explosion in my mouth. I'd give these rolls a "kapow" on the freshness explosion scale. Definitely can't deny the awesomeness of cilantro topped off with that peanut sauce.
The sauce gets a "boom shaka laka".

Homer: I am not denying the...explosion...I just think that the spring rolls did not distinguish themselves. I mean if I wanted a freshness explosion, I would have eaten a salad and lit a firecracker in my ass... Ok, they were ok spring rolls; I just don't think they stood out. There was nothing particularly "Saigon" or "Vietnamese about them.

Jordan: So before ordering entrees, we made sure to ask the server about the most authentic selections on the menu.

Homer: After which he proceeded to read us the menu...

Jordan: … and point at pictures. So I ordered the BBQ Pork and Egg Roll Vermicelli bowl. Doesn't "vermicelli" mean rice noodle??

Homer: Vermicelli doesn't seem very Vietnamese. I am not an expert or anything, but I don't think Vermicelli is a Vietnamese word...

Jordan: Hey Wikipedia, what say you? "Rice vermicelli are thin noodles made from rice, sometimes also known as rice noodles or rice sticks. They should not be confused with Cellophane noodles, which is another type of vermicelli."

Homer: Egg roll noodle bowls seem to be a standard fare at Vietnamese restaurants.

Jordan: Yes, and it was quite tasty. I have a feeling egg roll noodle bowls are standard fare for Vietnamese lunching. It seems to me the best foods are the ones not necessarily featured in restaurant menus, but the ones the native people eat consistently. Usually quite affordable too.

Homer: I ordered the Spicy Beef Noodle Soup. The waiter must not have liked me. I think he noticed that I did not appreciate the "explosion" that came with the appetizers. He straightened himself up, gave me the stink eye, and said, “It’s Spicy... are you sure? I laughed with him, but on the inside, I was emasculated. It was then I knew I had to prove myself.

Jordan: Do you think you were able to prove yourself enough hombre?

Homer: Well, the broth was substantial, and the beef was tasty, and the waiter gave me another "explosion of freshness" to throw in the soup when I was ready. At first, it was fine. It was hot, but nothing I couldn't handle. But as I kept eating, it felt like it was sticking to my lips and tongue. Like napalm in the jungles of… anyway...Jordan finished first and I was using my fork to eat some noodles, and the waiter came and took my spoon away. I really could have finished, but alas, I had no spoon…

really…

…I could have

Jordan: The food gets a thumbs up, or in Homer's case, a firecracker up his ass. THUNDER DOWN UNDER!!!!!!

Homer: I will agree with the food. But I don't feel like this experience was an all a round thumbs up.

Jordan: Exactly, the experience was pretty sterile. It reminded me of my many forgettable experiences in typical Chinese or Asian restaurants.

Homer: Here is the deal with my opinion. There are so many restaurants that I have been to that all blur together in my mind. That is not to say the food wasn't good or the place wasn't even unique...restaurants tend to do that. It takes something special to make a place stand out for me. I think the food HAS to be good, but then there has to be something more.. something special.

Jordan: Sometimes the place needs a little kitsch, peculiar quality, odd smell... This place didn't even have crappy Asian covers of Top 40 hits. William Hung, where you at?

Homer: Fake plants, cheesy art...and the service was a little off...we ended up being one of two tables, and I had to go ask for the bill. What do you think Jordan, Gobackability?

Jordan: The food was great, the setting proved nothing special. I feel more inclined to get some food to go.

Homer: That is a good idea. I would be ok with that. Browness?

Jordan: I'm gonna go with preppy light khaki.

Homer: I concur.

That's all for this week. Check back once a week or so for a new review. E-mail your questions, comments and pictures of hot girls to brownonthetowne@gmail.com. And if you want to come to lunch with us, drop us a line and maybe we will make you our special guest of the week!!

Jordan: Later Gators.

The International Cafe

2007-11-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

Gobackability-- Once or twice a month
Service -- Fast and Friendly
Food-- Most Excellent
Browness--Burnt Sienna

The International Cafe

2416 Farnam St Omaha NE 68102

(402) 991-6442

North African, Halaal

Jordan: So Homer... the International Café.

Homer: A fitting restaurant to begin our international tour through Omaha. It even has “International” in the name.

Jordan: Yes. How "brown" is the International Café?

Homer: From the outside, there was really no way to tell just how "Brown" this place was. It was also right across from one of my favorite late night food joints, The Smoke Pit, (A future review?) So I had pre-conceptions...

Jordan: I guess I’m trying to use the word "brown" like the way people use the "green" nowadays. For our purposes the "browner" the better.

Homer: As in restaurants as in life...

Jordan: Sure.

Homer: I got to this place first. there wasn't a line when I got there at 1;00, but the line grew and diminished like a beautiful wave…

Jordan: As I walked in the door, I remember thinking, "Hell yeah!". the smell reminded me of going to the oriental or global grocery stores I would go to with my grandparents when I was a kid. The tacky table cloths were pretty sweet too.

Homer: The whole place was bigger than it looks from outside.

Jordan: Another good sign.

Homer: You could probably bring a bus of drunken frat boys and their passed out dates in to the place and not fill up even the back third…The thing I noticed when I walked in was that there were people sitting together. I don't mean sitting together like a couple on a date or like a group of people who all came together for lunch. Literally, people came in over the 30 minutes I was waiting for Jordan's slow ass, and I don't think they even knew each other, but they all sat at one big table and ate together. Not at all a “drive through and eat by myself” mentality. These people were sitting down to share a meal.

Jordan: The group sitting together were still chatting away even as we left.

Homer: But on to the food. That is why you are reading this blog, right?

Jordan: THE RICE!!!!!

Homer: Oh my god, the rice.

Jordan: SOOO GOOOOOD!!!!

Jordan: Hard to explain... first off, our plates had mountains of rice on them. enough rice to feed 3. Take it from me I’m Asian.

Homer: Is there such a thing as a brown Asian?

Jordan: Oh yeah. This isn't a spray on tan my friend.

Homer: What did you get ?

Jordan: I had the stewed beef and rice.

Homer: For our first time out, I guess we made a little mistake in the food ordering category. I had the Goat and Rice. Jordan had the Stewed Beef and Rice. They basically looked the same, and if I hadn't know what I was eating they literally could have been the same dish.

Jordan: But the "not knowing" what you're eating is part of the adventure.

Homer: I mean, we should probably order things that are more different next time. That way we have a better idea of the range of food the place has to offer.

Jordan: True. From what I could gather, the stuff we got was pretty standard fare. And it was good.

Homer: It made me cry a little, in joy. Ok, maybe not that good, but it was damn good.

Jordan: True... Good sign #2, besides the mountain of rice, bones with the meat.

Homer: The bones is where the flavor is.

Jordan: Yes.

Homer: There was a small salad on my plate, standard ranch, which I wasn't expecting. So I guess it was a nice surprise instead of an affront to my choice in dressings.

Jordan: And the salad was nothing special, pretty standard, probably out of a bag, but good to have along with the other parts of the plate.

Homer: All in all, really good food. Like I said, if I hadn't known it was goat....but If I could, I would eat that rice everyday for the next week.

Jordan: The food was great. the meat was tender and flavorful. Nothing overpowering but I agree, the rice is where its at. And we chatted with the owner right before we left too.

Homer: It was hard to pin "Ahmad" down on the kind of food he serves. The most we could get out of him was "International." I mean, that isn't really a genre of food. What would you call it?

Jordan: : I would characterize it as either "halaal", probably most like north African or certain Mideast types of food.

Homer: Wow. I didn't know we were going that deep. I don't even know what Halaal is. But it is a good thing that you do.

Jordan: Mini lesson: Halal (ØÙ„Ø§Ù„, á¸¥alÄl, halaal) is an Arabic term meaning "permissible". In the English language it most frequently refers to food that is permissible according to Islamic law. In the Arabic language it refers to anything that is permissible under Islam. It's like kosher laws.

Homer: Now I know.

Jordan: Knowing is half the battle!

Homer: Go Joe!

Jordan: I really liked the joint. It connected with what I would expect for a truly "ethnic" restaurant. Just look at the clientele

Homer: I would probably take a hot artsy girl there on a date for something different in Omaha.

Jordan: True. Everyone there was brown. good sign. Like when you go to a Chinese place and everyone there is Chinese. Then you know its good.

Homer: I am more of a tan...almost a beige....

Jordan: I have always thought of you as a sandalwood.

Homer: But I guess I am not the one that matters. In short, good rice, very brown, nice ethnic atmosphere. Would you go back?

Jordan: You bet. let's see who gets there with a hot artsy chick first. Ready... set... go...

Homer: Until next time, folks, this has been Brown on the Towne.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet

2007-11-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

Jordan: Shit Homer. So we’ve actually started this thing. Back in the day, Homer and I wanted to do something with the “ethnic food.” And it would have been fucking sweet, but it never really happened.

Homer: I think what it was, was we were going to go shopping every week, and cook some new ethnic dish for everyone our floor in the college dorms.

Jordan: And hit it with the chicks.

Homer: Yeah that would have been sweet.

Jordan: Hell yeah, my friend. But I would rather enjoy the food experience myself, and not have girl issues get in the way of the food enjoyment. So screw you chicks. Anyway, none of this ever happened. And here we are, seven years later.

Homer: So I was driving home the other day, and I happened to pass what I thought was a sweet new restaurant. It was Caribbean. And the first thing I thought of, was to call my buddy Jordan.

Jordan: Why?

Homer: I don’t know. Maybe it is because you are brown.

Jordan: That is as good a reason as any. But it was probably about the food right?

Homer: Yeah, I had kind of fallen into a rut food wise recently. That is evidenced by the 6 foot stacks of pizza boxes in my laundry room.

Jordan: Why are they in your laundry room?

Homer: Well, it started out as one, but then I was too lazy to take them out with the trash, and eventually, it got so big I just wanted to see how high I could go. Anyway, I felt I needed something more out of food. I guess I sort of remembered the ethnic thing from college, and even though neither one of us wants to cook every week, I don’t see why that should be a reason for us to not eat ethnic every week.

Jordan: Yup. I agree. There is lots of good food out there. Especially lesser known ethnic type restaurants. And I think, since we are ethnic types, can be good judges of the ethnic food experience.

Homer: And what better way to share our judgments? Pronouncements? Opinions? What are we sharing? Whatever it is , what better way to get that information to the people we love, and the people we really don’t care about, than to jump on the internets bandwagon, and create a blog.

Jordan: Word.

Homer: So if there are no objections, that is what we will do. We will seek out new life and new civilizations…wait that was Jean Luc Picard. I am a nerd. We will seek out….

Jordan: New good food.

Homer: Especially here in Omaha, the city where everyone sleeps.

Jordan: No. Omaha is the city where everyone eats. Which can be unfortunate. But not for us!!!!

Homer: Get ready kids, you are about to experience Brown on the Towne. That’s with an E.

Jordan: For Ethnic.