Welcome to Brown on the Towne, the illegitimate, bastard brain child of two friends who enjoy their eats and surroundings. We are Homer and Jordan. Our mission is to document our experience of ethnic eateries in the Omaha area. We do not claim to be politically, mathematically or chemically correct.

Leave us a comment or email us at brownonthetowne@gmail.com

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sakura Bana



  • Gobackability-- Sparingly...delicious but expensive


  • Service -- Love the hot towels!


  • Food-- 明 珠 強 兵


  • Browness--Shiba Brown







Sakura Bana,

7425 Dodge Street Omaha, NE 68114

(402) 391-5047

Japanese


Jordan: Dude, feeling good from all the love we've been getting...

Homer: Thanks to everyone who sent us comments and such. It makes me want to go on for another day!

Jordan: Just one.....but.....if you leave us comments, suggestions and pictures of cool things, Homer may go on for two more days.

Homer: All the extra time would be appreciated. Sakura Bana

Jordan: Konichiwa!!!!!!!!

Homer: How would that be in Japanese characters?

Jordan: 今日 は

Homer: How elegant! I didn't know you wrote/spoke Japanese!!!

Jordan: I surprise myself sometimes. For those of you unaware, Sakura Bana was formerly called Sushi Ichiban and was formerly housed in a former IHOP building on 84th and Dodge. I'm still deciding if I like the new location or not.... the old place had a good thing going on...

Homer: Sushi Ichiban means, “Fluffy Squatting Dog,“ in Japanese. I guess I understand why they had to move. Regardless, the new place is...well...new. It feels new, it looks new, but from what I can remember, the taste is old school.

Jordan: Word. Old School like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

Homer: Ahh yes..good old Grandmaster....(?) For starters. We ordered some sushi. I was curious as to what a hand roll is. So I got a California hand roll. I like to speak in short broken sentences.....

Jordan: California hand roll... sounds dirty...

Homer: It was dirty. It was so dirty I stuffed it all into my mouth....ok but seriously. A hand roll is like a delicious sushi ice cream cone. If sushi is chicken nuggets, a hand roll is a chicken breast. Delicious.

Jordan: We also got some spicy tuna sushi and sea urchin. I don't know about yous, but sea urchin almost has some sort of forbidden allure to it. Maybe it's just from watching too many old Iron Chef episodes. I can imagine a Japanese Soap star reminiscing of how the delicate flavors remind her of her childhood...

Homer: What is it with the sexual innuendos today? Anyway, yes I agree. But I was never mystified by battle sea urchin, just disgusted...I mean come on, sea urchin ice cream. Sea urchin is one of those things you have to put in your mouth to really experience. Like pop rocks. Or a "cement mixer." I am on the fence....

Jordan: For those of you wondering, the sea urchin was actually quite creamy. Salty too...Definitely not what I expected.

Homer: Are we done talking about sea urchin? This is making me uncomfortable.

Jordan: I ordered the lunch box special, the obento. Bento is basically an entire meal served in a compartmentalized box. Mine had tempura shrimp, pork teriyaki, rice, salad with carrot ginger dressing... love carrot ginger dressing... If you're looking for a little of everything, bento is the way to go.

Homer: I heard "lunch box" and was steered away from that direction. I have too many memories of plain bologna sandwiches and pop rocks to go for something called a lunch box. But when it came, it did look very tasty. I had the Champon. I was looking for a noodle dish, something peasanty and filling. That is exactly what I got. Noodles, chicken, fish ball, an egg and vegetables all in a delicious broth. And the mushrooms were intense. Definitely not expecting the intensity of the mushroom.

Jordan: Were they "firecracker up your ass" intense??

Homer: No, they were more like eating dirt intense. But in a good way. I don't mean to make this comparison, but it was like eating Ramen Noodles on steroids. Please don't take that the wrong way. I love Ramen Noodles. These were just a better version.

Jordan: I enjoyed my food quite a bit. Tempura shrimp is one of my all time favorite foods (readers, make a note of this). The crisp outside and the warm, savory shrimp inside... the delicate... flavors... remind me of... snowflakes.. from... my... childhood.

Homer: OH YEAH!! I had a taste memory too! I forgot about that! But now I can't remember what it was about.....

Jordan: The strawberry mochi ice cream!!!! More specifically the gummy shell.

Homer: Hell yeah. The strawberry mochi ice cream (SMIC) reminded me of running out to my grandma’s street and buying those ice cream things that came in the shape of cartoon characters.

Jordan: Ahh taste memories...

Homer: I had the green tea ice cream (GTIC) for dessert. Interesting....

Jordan: It looked like a mound of wasabi in a dish.

Homer: That would be a funny prank to play on someone. Freeze a mound of wasabi and serve it as ice cream...I am now on the lookout for green mounds of frozen things… It was good. Very subtle. Very elegant. More of a dessert, and less of an ice cream. Light and refreshing

I have a complaint about this restaurant. They did not give me a damn fortune cookie. What, Japanese people think they are so good that they do not need to fill a cookie with a paper of destiny? What is going on with that?

Jordan: I think they're still pissed about the bomb.

Homer: I think we are done here. E-mail your comments and questions and $20 Bills to brownonthetowne@gmail.com

Jordan: Real quick... thanks to all our friends sharing kind words and comments Pam, Laura K., Sgier, Adam, Debbie and our new pal Anthony. Everyone else, you should be as cool.

Homer: For the sweet holiday month of December, we are having our first contest. The rules are as follows. You send us the coolest "thing" in the mail, e-mail or in person, and Brown on the Towne will take you and your closest friend (preferably hot closest friend) to lunch. Brown on the Towne reserves all rights to decide what constitutes “cool.”

Brownonthetowne@gmail.com, or
610 S. 70th St. Omaha, NE 68106.
Good luck and send us something cool!

And the Winner is...

Here is a special thank you to one of our wonderful contributors, Anthony. We are not sure who he is, but this is an artist's depiction of one possibility.





Anthony sent us kind words and pictures of hot chicks.

My man, when we do Alvarados, AND WE WILL, lunch is on us!!!!!!

Brown on the Towne

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Cuba Linda

  • Gobackability-- Already have.
  • Service -- Dreamy
  • Food-- Go here. Now.
  • Browness-- Worthy Bronze

Cuba Linda

10841 Q Street Omaha, NE 68137

(402) 592-1214

Cuban



Jordan: : 3... 2... 1... it's Brown On the Towne

Homer: I would like to start this week by saying that the restaurant we patronized is the reason I wanted to do this whole mess in the first place.

Jordan: I think it is also safe to say that this week's restaurant is our first "GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!" recommendation.

Homer: Drop everything you are doing (unless it is between the hours of 2:30 and 5:00, because they are closed then). Go. Do it. You have been warned.

Jordan: Do it or we'll put you in Guantanamo....

Homer: What a segway(sp?)!!!!!!

Jordan: The name of the place is Cuba Linda
10841 Q St
Omaha, NE 68137
(402) 592-1214
Originally the plan was to eat at a Cuban restaurant this week... it just so happened that the one we wanted to hit up first was closed.

Homer: The Cuban gods hath smiled upon us!!

Jordan: : Que Suerte!!!! GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!

Homer: I walked in, and no one was in this place. Not one person. Ok except the cook and his daughter. She sat me down and flirted and talked while I waited for Jordan.

Jordan: I was definitely on time this week. On my way to the original destination, Homer left a voice mail informing me about the switch of venues. At the time he was enjoying a tasty appetizer... the euphoria in his voice foretold of the sweet, sweet goodness that is Cuba Linda. GO THERE FUCKING NOW!!!!

Homer: First order of business. The Toston. I dislike plantains. I mean, if I wanted to eat a non- sweet banana, I would munch on a mushy potato. That is what they taste like to me. However, what this guy did to these hated fruits was pure magic. Imagine a banana. Now imagine it tasting like a potato. NOW imagine a guy deep frying 5 or 6 slices of this and drizzling them with a mixture of olive oil, lemon juice and chopped garlic. Excuse me , I need a minute...

Jordan: I arrived the moment Homer completed his conquest of the tostones. Across the table Homer sat satisfied. On the table was a barren serving plate with small splotches of ketchup like the blood stains from a murder scene.

Homer: Hold on. I need to explain the ketchup. I have been watching Iron Chef a lot lately. What they do with their food in terms of balance truly mystifies me. I felt like I had been handed a plate from Iron Chef Cuban. He added ketchup to his already magical creation. And guess what? It was better than before. Just the right amount of ketchup. It was strategic ketchup placement.

Jordan: I ordered a plate of tostones as well. The ketchup strategery was artful.

Homer: But enough about the appetizers. We have much to discuss.

Jordan: : For my main course I ordered the Number 1, Pork Fricase with red beans and rice and yuca root.

Homer: In Spanish- Fricase de lechon con gris y yuca.

Jordan: I am still not quite sure how to describe how good it was.... I've been meditating on that for the past couple days.

Homer: No words come to mind. Try describing an orgasm without saying it was an orgasm. Some things just speak for themselves.

Jordan: Well said.

Homer: I ordered the number 2. Lechon con gris y yuca. Now some of you who are paying attention may be saying to yourself, "but they ordered the same thing!!!!" Well, for the most part, you are right. And I don't care. I would say I have experience in certain kinds of foods. Not because I am an expert or anything, but because I have had them quite a bit. And within those specific styles, there is a dish I find is the benchmark of the style. With Mexican, it is Green Chile. With Cuban, it is roast pork. And for the record, the roast pork at Cuba Linda is wonderful.

Jordan: I think the search for the style benchmark, the flagship food, is part of our de facto mission as Brown on the Towne. Not only are we doing the leg work or the mouth work, we hope to educate and guide you, the reader, to the best each place has to offer.

Homer: I have in fact already been back to Cuba Linda in the time since we went and now. That is how good I think this place is.

Jordan: Ha! I was planning to go last night for dinner...

Homer: I could go on and on about the food here, but let me clue you all in to something I find particularly excellent about the food. The sauce. Mojito. Not the rum drink. This sauce is the one I described above on the tostones. Olive Oil, Lemon Juice and chopped garlic. And maybe other secret magic ingredients. Eye of newt? Who knows, but this is where the flavor is at. Order extra and you will not regret it. Now moving on...

Jordan: For desert I ordered coffee. For those who are not informed on the matter, Cuban coffee, specifically the espresso, is something I consider a world class treat. The espresso at Cuba Linda did not disappoint. Cuban-style espresso is made by adding sugar to the container where the espresso will be collected after brewing in the espresso machine. The drink has strength of espresso, but with a smooth, sweet flavor that is unobtainable by simply mixing sugar into a regular espresso. it's awesome.

Homer: The "flan" was much less eggy than I usually have it. A sweet surprise. I really could not have asked for a better lunch.

Jordan: For sure. Gobackability.... seriously, you've already been back and I have been planning to go back. It's only been two days since we've been there....

Homer: Just go. Seriously. Go. Do yourself a favor, bundle up your honey and five of her closest friends and go.

Jordan: Go, not only for the food and experience, but to keep the place afloat so we can go back and enjoy it as often as we choose.

Homer: Agreed.

Jordan: Do it or I will definitely put you in Guantanamo. Service?

Homer: She was dreamy. There when I needed it. Although the second time I went, she was not there, and had I not spoke Spanish, I might have had to resort to pointing to the menu.

Jordan: And of course... Browness???

Homer: You are letting me pass judgment on the browness? What if I screw it up?

Jordan: To me, it feels most appropriate for you to rate the browness for this place. For as good a place as this was, I’m not sure you could screw it up if you tried.

Homer: I choose...Bronze. A worthy color for a worthy restaurant.

Jordan: Alright folks, this has been Brown On The Towne. Happy Turkey Day. Remember: if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, you can use the comment function after each post or e-mail us at brownonthetowne@gmail.com.

Homer: Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Saigon

  • Gobackability-- Get it to go
  • Service -- It is Spicy...are you sure?
  • Food-- Quite Tasty
  • Browness--Preppy Light Khaki




Saigon,

12100 W Center Rd Omaha, NE 68144

(402) 697-7000

Vietnamese

Jordan: Let's light this candle… The candle is en fuego.

Homer: This week, we decided to go someplace on the opposite end of the food spectrum

Jordan: And we found a really short dude and a pot of gold....

Homer: What a tasty pot of gold!!! Sometimes I see food in Omaha as on a five point star...kind of like a pentagram. Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Pizza and Sandwiches.

Jordan: I feel ya on that one. So where on the star would we place our most recent adventure?

Homer: I guess you could add Chain American as well... If it had to be on the star I suppose it would fall somewhere between Chinese and.... um....sandwiches...

Jordan: I have never experienced such deep philosophy. You should make a diorama.

Homer: I have a lot of free time....and I eat alot... OK. The place we went this week was called Saigon

Jordan: Alright Saigon, 12100 W Center Rd Omaha, NE 68144
(402) 697-7000.

Homer: Yes that is the one. Saigon, A Vietnamese circus in your mouth.

Jordan: We made an improvement in our tasting technique, if you will. this time we ordered different items.

Homer: Well, we ordered differently before, but it just wasn't different enough.

Jordan: I liked the food quite a bit. We started with spring rolls right?

Homer: Vietnamese spring rolls. Spring rolls never do it for me. At least not by themselves. It is always the sauce that makes them good. These had shrimp and vegetables and rice vermicelli. Kind of like every other spring roll I have ever had.

Jordan: I thought the spring rolls were pretty tasty. For me the distinguishing factor is the freshness explosion in my mouth. I'd give these rolls a "kapow" on the freshness explosion scale. Definitely can't deny the awesomeness of cilantro topped off with that peanut sauce.
The sauce gets a "boom shaka laka".

Homer: I am not denying the...explosion...I just think that the spring rolls did not distinguish themselves. I mean if I wanted a freshness explosion, I would have eaten a salad and lit a firecracker in my ass... Ok, they were ok spring rolls; I just don't think they stood out. There was nothing particularly "Saigon" or "Vietnamese about them.

Jordan: So before ordering entrees, we made sure to ask the server about the most authentic selections on the menu.

Homer: After which he proceeded to read us the menu...

Jordan: … and point at pictures. So I ordered the BBQ Pork and Egg Roll Vermicelli bowl. Doesn't "vermicelli" mean rice noodle??

Homer: Vermicelli doesn't seem very Vietnamese. I am not an expert or anything, but I don't think Vermicelli is a Vietnamese word...

Jordan: Hey Wikipedia, what say you? "Rice vermicelli are thin noodles made from rice, sometimes also known as rice noodles or rice sticks. They should not be confused with Cellophane noodles, which is another type of vermicelli."

Homer: Egg roll noodle bowls seem to be a standard fare at Vietnamese restaurants.

Jordan: Yes, and it was quite tasty. I have a feeling egg roll noodle bowls are standard fare for Vietnamese lunching. It seems to me the best foods are the ones not necessarily featured in restaurant menus, but the ones the native people eat consistently. Usually quite affordable too.

Homer: I ordered the Spicy Beef Noodle Soup. The waiter must not have liked me. I think he noticed that I did not appreciate the "explosion" that came with the appetizers. He straightened himself up, gave me the stink eye, and said, “It’s Spicy... are you sure? I laughed with him, but on the inside, I was emasculated. It was then I knew I had to prove myself.

Jordan: Do you think you were able to prove yourself enough hombre?

Homer: Well, the broth was substantial, and the beef was tasty, and the waiter gave me another "explosion of freshness" to throw in the soup when I was ready. At first, it was fine. It was hot, but nothing I couldn't handle. But as I kept eating, it felt like it was sticking to my lips and tongue. Like napalm in the jungles of… anyway...Jordan finished first and I was using my fork to eat some noodles, and the waiter came and took my spoon away. I really could have finished, but alas, I had no spoon…

really…

…I could have

Jordan: The food gets a thumbs up, or in Homer's case, a firecracker up his ass. THUNDER DOWN UNDER!!!!!!

Homer: I will agree with the food. But I don't feel like this experience was an all a round thumbs up.

Jordan: Exactly, the experience was pretty sterile. It reminded me of my many forgettable experiences in typical Chinese or Asian restaurants.

Homer: Here is the deal with my opinion. There are so many restaurants that I have been to that all blur together in my mind. That is not to say the food wasn't good or the place wasn't even unique...restaurants tend to do that. It takes something special to make a place stand out for me. I think the food HAS to be good, but then there has to be something more.. something special.

Jordan: Sometimes the place needs a little kitsch, peculiar quality, odd smell... This place didn't even have crappy Asian covers of Top 40 hits. William Hung, where you at?

Homer: Fake plants, cheesy art...and the service was a little off...we ended up being one of two tables, and I had to go ask for the bill. What do you think Jordan, Gobackability?

Jordan: The food was great, the setting proved nothing special. I feel more inclined to get some food to go.

Homer: That is a good idea. I would be ok with that. Browness?

Jordan: I'm gonna go with preppy light khaki.

Homer: I concur.

That's all for this week. Check back once a week or so for a new review. E-mail your questions, comments and pictures of hot girls to brownonthetowne@gmail.com. And if you want to come to lunch with us, drop us a line and maybe we will make you our special guest of the week!!

Jordan: Later Gators.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The International Cafe

  • Gobackability-- Once or twice a month
  • Service -- Fast and Friendly
  • Food-- Most Excellent
  • Browness--Burnt Sienna



The International Cafe

2416 Farnam St Omaha NE 68102

(402) 991-6442

North African, Halaal

Jordan: So Homer... the International Café.

Homer: A fitting restaurant to begin our international tour through Omaha. It even has “International” in the name.

Jordan: Yes. How "brown" is the International Café?

Homer: From the outside, there was really no way to tell just how "Brown" this place was. It was also right across from one of my favorite late night food joints, The Smoke Pit, (A future review?) So I had pre-conceptions...

Jordan: I guess I’m trying to use the word "brown" like the way people use the "green" nowadays. For our purposes the "browner" the better.

Homer: As in restaurants as in life...

Jordan: Sure.

Homer: I got to this place first. there wasn't a line when I got there at 1;00, but the line grew and diminished like a beautiful wave…

Jordan: As I walked in the door, I remember thinking, "Hell yeah!". the smell reminded me of going to the oriental or global grocery stores I would go to with my grandparents when I was a kid. The tacky table cloths were pretty sweet too.

Homer: The whole place was bigger than it looks from outside.

Jordan: Another good sign.

Homer: You could probably bring a bus of drunken frat boys and their passed out dates in to the place and not fill up even the back third…The thing I noticed when I walked in was that there were people sitting together. I don't mean sitting together like a couple on a date or like a group of people who all came together for lunch. Literally, people came in over the 30 minutes I was waiting for Jordan's slow ass, and I don't think they even knew each other, but they all sat at one big table and ate together. Not at all a “drive through and eat by myself” mentality. These people were sitting down to share a meal.

Jordan: The group sitting together were still chatting away even as we left.

Homer: But on to the food. That is why you are reading this blog, right?

Jordan: THE RICE!!!!!

Homer: Oh my god, the rice.

Jordan: SOOO GOOOOOD!!!!

Jordan: Hard to explain... first off, our plates had mountains of rice on them. enough rice to feed 3. Take it from me I’m Asian.

Homer: Is there such a thing as a brown Asian?

Jordan: Oh yeah. This isn't a spray on tan my friend.

Homer: What did you get ?

Jordan: I had the stewed beef and rice.

Homer: For our first time out, I guess we made a little mistake in the food ordering category. I had the Goat and Rice. Jordan had the Stewed Beef and Rice. They basically looked the same, and if I hadn't know what I was eating they literally could have been the same dish.

Jordan: But the "not knowing" what you're eating is part of the adventure.

Homer: I mean, we should probably order things that are more different next time. That way we have a better idea of the range of food the place has to offer.

Jordan: True. From what I could gather, the stuff we got was pretty standard fare. And it was good.

Homer: It made me cry a little, in joy. Ok, maybe not that good, but it was damn good.

Jordan: True... Good sign #2, besides the mountain of rice, bones with the meat.

Homer: The bones is where the flavor is.

Jordan: Yes.

Homer: There was a small salad on my plate, standard ranch, which I wasn't expecting. So I guess it was a nice surprise instead of an affront to my choice in dressings.

Jordan: And the salad was nothing special, pretty standard, probably out of a bag, but good to have along with the other parts of the plate.

Homer: All in all, really good food. Like I said, if I hadn't known it was goat....but If I could, I would eat that rice everyday for the next week.

Jordan: The food was great. the meat was tender and flavorful. Nothing overpowering but I agree, the rice is where its at. And we chatted with the owner right before we left too.

Homer: It was hard to pin "Ahmad" down on the kind of food he serves. The most we could get out of him was "International." I mean, that isn't really a genre of food. What would you call it?

Jordan: : I would characterize it as either "halaal", probably most like north African or certain Mideast types of food.

Homer: Wow. I didn't know we were going that deep. I don't even know what Halaal is. But it is a good thing that you do.

Jordan: Mini lesson: Halal (حلال, ḥalāl, halaal) is an Arabic term meaning "permissible". In the English language it most frequently refers to food that is permissible according to Islamic law. In the Arabic language it refers to anything that is permissible under Islam. It's like kosher laws.

Homer: Now I know.

Jordan: Knowing is half the battle!

Homer: Go Joe!

Jordan: I really liked the joint. It connected with what I would expect for a truly "ethnic" restaurant. Just look at the clientele

Homer: I would probably take a hot artsy girl there on a date for something different in Omaha.

Jordan: True. Everyone there was brown. good sign. Like when you go to a Chinese place and everyone there is Chinese. Then you know its good.

Homer: I am more of a tan...almost a beige....

Jordan: I have always thought of you as a sandalwood.

Homer: But I guess I am not the one that matters. In short, good rice, very brown, nice ethnic atmosphere. Would you go back?

Jordan: You bet. let's see who gets there with a hot artsy chick first. Ready... set... go...

Homer: Until next time, folks, this has been Brown on the Towne.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet

Jordan: Shit Homer. So we’ve actually started this thing. Back in the day, Homer and I wanted to do something with the “ethnic food.” And it would have been fucking sweet, but it never really happened.

Homer: I think what it was, was we were going to go shopping every week, and cook some new ethnic dish for everyone our floor in the college dorms.

Jordan: And hit it with the chicks.

Homer: Yeah that would have been sweet.

Jordan: Hell yeah, my friend. But I would rather enjoy the food experience myself, and not have girl issues get in the way of the food enjoyment. So screw you chicks. Anyway, none of this ever happened. And here we are, seven years later.
Homer: So I was driving home the other day, and I happened to pass what I thought was a sweet new restaurant. It was Caribbean. And the first thing I thought of, was to call my buddy Jordan.

Jordan: Why?

Homer: I don’t know. Maybe it is because you are brown.

Jordan: That is as good a reason as any. But it was probably about the food right?

Homer: Yeah, I had kind of fallen into a rut food wise recently. That is evidenced by the 6 foot stacks of pizza boxes in my laundry room.

Jordan: Why are they in your laundry room?

Homer: Well, it started out as one, but then I was too lazy to take them out with the trash, and eventually, it got so big I just wanted to see how high I could go. Anyway, I felt I needed something more out of food. I guess I sort of remembered the ethnic thing from college, and even though neither one of us wants to cook every week, I don’t see why that should be a reason for us to not eat ethnic every week.

Jordan: Yup. I agree. There is lots of good food out there. Especially lesser known ethnic type restaurants. And I think, since we are ethnic types, can be good judges of the ethnic food experience.

Homer: And what better way to share our judgments? Pronouncements? Opinions? What are we sharing? Whatever it is , what better way to get that information to the people we love, and the people we really don’t care about, than to jump on the internets bandwagon, and create a blog.

Jordan: Word.

Homer: So if there are no objections, that is what we will do. We will seek out new life and new civilizations…wait that was Jean Luc Picard. I am a nerd. We will seek out….

Jordan: New good food.

Homer: Especially here in Omaha, the city where everyone sleeps.

Jordan: No. Omaha is the city where everyone eats. Which can be unfortunate. But not for us!!!!

Homer: Get ready kids, you are about to experience Brown on the Towne. That’s with an E.

Jordan: For Ethnic.